The High Value Man Conversation
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Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
The HVMC: s3 ep7: The Unwavering Path to Being a Man of Substance
Dive into the heart of becoming a man of value in today's episode, where we dissect the pivotal role of consistency in personal growth, relationships, and business success.
We'll share transformative lessons to elevate your daily grind into a mastery journey, highlighting the pitfalls of inconsistency. Discover the power of unwavering commitment, the importance of meaningful interactions, and the art of living by core values.
Join us for insights into how disciplined routines like daily cold plunges can fortify character, and learn to distinguish between your current self and who you aspire to be. This episode promises to reshape your approach to consistency and commitment, crucial for any high-value man's toolkit.
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This is the High Value man Conversation Podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men, men that are courageous, committed and uncompromising in their pursuit of greatness. You run the day and stop having them.
Speaker 2:Run you. Monday, get better, tuesday get better, wednesday get better. Everybody's good when they're not tired. Champions is when they're tired. That's when the real champions come out. The next day get up, get up, get up, get up, keep going, win. I'm going to win, as far away from these dreams as you think you are.
Speaker 1:One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community, state and the world. The question is, if not you, then who? Welcome back to the High-Vitamin Conversation. This is episode seven. Yeah, Episode seven. We're just getting better and better. It's been a lot of fun to do these six episodes with you and we got so many more planned.
Speaker 1:This one is, you know it's going to be a really good episode when, in the brainstorming part of the episode, we're combating back and forth a number of F-bombs and like really exaggerated F-bombs, Like oh fuck, that's because we can feel it Uh-huh. And so you know it's going to be a good topic when your two hosts are getting revelations in the moment with things that we're talking through and walking through. That's the point of this conversation is that if you don't talk out the thoughts that you have in your head, you don't really get to see how they're directing your life and they're pointing in a trajectory one way or the other. And having a conversation, fellowship, intimacy, a good friendship, a mentor, a tribe to get you to actually start dissecting your thoughts allows you to see if you're pointing the plane in the right direction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which we'll touch on quite a bit more here shortly, yeah, so let's get into it. If you guys clicked on it, you know the topic for the day, but today is episode seven and we're talking about consistency. Consistency is one of those things You've probably heard the word. You may not be using it in your, in your formal vocabulary, although that's something that Aaron and I touch on quite often is is our own consistency and how we want to be in our lives and what that requires.
Speaker 1:So today we are hitting on consistency, what that means and what that produces in your life, through your life and in the sphere around you, cause there's only two types of consistency you either are consistently consistent or inconsistently consistent. Let that land for a second. We'll play that back.
Speaker 1:You're either consistently consistent or consistently inconsistent, yes, and so that consistently inconsistent guy is a guy that starts, stops, starts, stops, starts, stops. He starts a diet plan and January 1st and he is all gung ho through the first two weeks of January and then he falls off track. He hits a little bit of headwind and he falls back into his old bias of behavior. Or the alcoholic gives up the bottle for a little while and he's consistent for a period of time. Then he stops doing the basic things, the boring things, stops making the decisions that are important to him and he just falls right back into the bottle. Same thing in relationships, date night, finances, sales, business development Everything requires consistency. Mastery is on the other side of being consistently consistent.
Speaker 2:So we're going to be touching on big today. I love that. As you're talking here, I'm just thinking of and this is no fault of them, they just have to get this part right in their life. But I have a handful of friends that are really good at coming up with great business ideas and they'll spend two weeks formulating it, getting a plan together, and that's really where it comes to a screeching halt time and time and time again for these, for these individuals as I think of them, and the big takeaway from that is that without consistency, they'll never finish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so denzel washington actually says without commitment you'll never start so good, but, more importantly, without consistency you'll never finish. I love that, and so that plays out again. You named all the different areas of our life and there's plenty, plenty more this can show up. But you can, may have, you might have a great idea, you may have a desire in your heart. You have, like you may reach a pain point in your life where you say, listen, I'm through with this, yeah, I'm gonna change something, and you come up with a plan, you come up with a choice, but then, like you talked about, a couple of weeks, in a matter of time goes by, you've got a handful of sleeps and all of a sudden it doesn't matter to you as much as it did when you made the decision.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So there's a couple of things that go into that. You got to be consistently consistent, first and foremost, you got to know what your, what direction you're moving in. And so I think, vision, like everything else, we'll touch on this. I'll talk on this repeatedly because, like Garrett says, often men need to be told once and reminded several times. But vision points the direction and without vision the people perish. Without vision, your consistency is not going to have real direction.
Speaker 2:I know we live in a world of EVs now, and especially with new products coming out, that you can like be in a virtual world while you're in your vehicle, for most of this is so range, true, but nobody gets in their car, starts it with a destination in mind, puts it in drive and then closes their eyes. Yeah, I mean, you may have a desire in your heart to create something in your life, to go somewhere with your life, but if you're not visually seeing where you're going on the map and in front of you, not only will you not get there, yeah, but you will crash and it'll be. It'll be, it'll be massive chaos in your life.
Speaker 1:You shared uh outside of the car. Analogy to another vehicle that will take you from point A to point B is planes and uh, joshua, sharon, at the beginning of the episode, you've taken some flight lessons, right?
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, you could. You could call them that. I've taken some flight lessons, yes, but this is a very unique opportunity that I was blessed by by a friend real close to me named Eddie. He was a trainer at Southwest here in Dallas and they have a massive training facility and they've got these virtual what do you call them virtual reality simulators. They've got flight simulators I mean dozens of them in this warehouse. That's over a football field wide, probably four football fields long, with these 60-foot ceilings, and these are $25 million apiece.
Speaker 2:Flight simulators that simulate a 737 so they can take people in and do training. Well, he took us after hours I think it was like midnight one night because they weren't being used. He took myself and two other guys in there and let us do flight simulators in the 737. And he's flown these things for decades. But one of the greatest experiences that I got out of those moments is there's literally an instrument panel on the deck of an airplane called an attitude. I didn't know that To me, an attitude is how I think and things like that and what I do with it.
Speaker 2:But an attitude in a plane is based on the horizon and there's a fluid ball that has white on one side, orange on the other, with zero being the horizon, and as you're flying the plane, there's a notch next to it and you can literally click up or click down. The attitude of the plane, which all that means, is the nose, the direction of the nose. It's either headed at the horizon, with a positive attitude it's above the horizon, which means the plane intends to climb, or it's a negative attitude, which means the plane intends to descend. Yes, so good and awesome, awesome experience. But so much I took away from that. Because the attitude, now that you replay it and put it in the place of our lives, how that plays out in every circumstance, every situation, every day of our life, what our attitude does and the direction we're going in, whether it's up or whether it's down and in conversation we went deeper tying in, tying in with thrust, means Effort, right, and so we know that if you're playing, and it's going to take off.
Speaker 1:it takes a certain amount of effort, forward movement and momentum in your desired direction, your vision, and that effort is your altitude that you're going to get and your attitude is the trajectory of the nose, the point of the nose, yeah.
Speaker 2:And the beautiful thing about playing. Obviously neither one of us are pilots. This is all. Could I if I had to? Maybe probably not. Not that cool. But the cool thing about just this knowledge is when a plane is taking off, it requires a positive attitude. It requires lots of thrust, which means lots of massive effort, yeah, but that plane will only take off based upon the resistance. So you have to have enough pressure underneath the wings to create lift, and so you've got pressure or tension. That's intentional. You have to seek the tension, or seek the pressure of what maybe a headwind might be.
Speaker 1:And your effort has to exceed that with a positive attitude, if you ever intend to get off the ground, ever intend to get off the ground, much less keep flying, yes, and that's the thing we're going to dive deep into. So, once you're in the air, so you've got your plane lifted off the ground and you're pointed in the direction of your vision. You've got the direction, like on the map, on the GPS, you know where you're going. It takes the consistent forward effort I'm sorry, forward effort and then positive attitude, because you're fighting against gravity, you're fighting against all of just the natural principles of life.
Speaker 1:It's going to be hard. There's going to be things pulling you down. You're going to have a headwind, more so than anything. Most people when they face that headwind and I we listed off a dozen areas that we've started and stopped things or we got onto this episode but you're gonna face that headwind where most guys fail is they hit that headwind and then it crumbles. Their attitude oh man, this is hard, it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, and so their nose points down on the horizon. So they've got a negative attitude and the next thing you.
Speaker 1:They just give up all effort and then the plane just takes over in its natural direction, which is down, and so the plane crashes, right. And so this is the starting and stopping mechanic. If you don't realize that you're stepping into a vehicle moving in a positive trajectory and knowing there's going to be adversity, there's going to be challenge, there's going to be a forward headwind, you're going to have to constantly recalibrate and stay consistent with the right direction, and you need to make sure that you've got the right co-pilot and the right radio system behind you to let you know hey, I'm still moving forward. I got you. If you need a little help and support that, let me take over the steering wheel for a little while. Intimacy, friendship, intrusive accountability Otherwise you're the guy that constantly crashes and lands his plane.
Speaker 2:I'd love to talk about the radios. I mean, you're talking to a flight tower somewhere, yeah. So who are you taking information from? Who's influencing you? Who's telling you where you should go? Is there anyone warning you about weather? Is there anyone telling you, hey, you're off path and you get back on path, and just how important that alignment is, and how important those voices are? Yeah, what control and how important those voices are? Yeah, you know what control tower are you listening to? Yeah, it's impactful. I mean, it could literally take you in a completely wrong direction If you want to play from. You started in Dallas and wanted to go to New York, but your flight tower said you need to go be pointed west. You're not going to get to New York yeah, so that's a massive influence area that you've got to be aware of.
Speaker 2:What I love about consistency you mentioned earlier that you're either consistently consistent or consistently inconsistent, and for us, I think the easiest barometer of that in the areas of our life is our habits. You can literally look at your habits, look at your calendar and see where you're spending your time, what's getting your attention, what is the proximity of things in your life that you're taking part in, the priorities, your priorities that will tell you whether you're being consistent in something or whether you're being part in the priorities that will do your priorities. That will tell you whether you're being consistent in something or whether you're being inconsistent in something, right. So if you need to look in your life and go well, how do I know if I'm consistent? I'm just living my life. I'm just trying to do the best of what I know how to do. Aaron knucklehead, how do I do?
Speaker 1:that, yeah, look at your habits. Your habits will show you everything. Yeah, and I think also coming back to the formula that we teach inside the High Value man Accelerator, first and foremost, is having a clear vision. You would never step foot onto a plane as a pilot, leading your friends, your family, your wife and your kids, without having a clear direction for your life.
Speaker 1:If you don't know where you're going in the next two years, that should be a very strong indicator that you have a very high likelihood to be the second half of the guy which is the inconsistent, consistently because you don't have a direction. So you're just you're starting the plane, you're gassing it up, you're loading everybody on board and you're like, okay, this is the direction we're going to go, but you're winging it. You're just shooting from the hip and then you get in the air and you face some headwinds and because you have a really strong, compelling vision, vision is also attached to your value, so you can define your life, not live by default. You get in there, you face that challenge, that difficult time, maybe in your marriage or your business, and you're like you know what? It's just going to be easy to crash land this thing. I'll start over again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and a lot of guys I can't. I don't know about you, aaron, I'll speak for myself. I can't remember the last time I got on a plane to fly commercially and they handed me a parachute.
Speaker 1:Has that ever happened for you, no, no, a backup plan no, it's almost like hey, this might not work out. In case it doesn't, here's your backup plan.
Speaker 2:Nobody hands you a parachute. But how many times in life have we gotten on a plane? We thought we had a vision, we had a whatever attitude, and we put some effort to it. We got in the air. And whether it's a crosswind.
Speaker 1:So things aren't just going the way you thought it would be, or shiny object syndrome.
Speaker 2:You get up in the air and you're like you know I kind of want to go to the Bahamas even though I said that we're going to go to New York.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and what do you? And what? What do what? Can men choose? They can choose to kick the hatch open and think well, this is too. It doesn't. Life doesn't work that way. You can't just jump from your responsibilities. There's a massive consequence from that Massive consequence. You think you're saving your life, but at the cost of what? Somebody's going to pay the price for you, for you jumping out of the plane.
Speaker 1:Which, again it goes back to this, and we were having a discussion on this is having a really clear vision for what you want for your life, for your four domains faith, fitness, family, finances. That's first and foremost, and sticking to it through non-decisions.
Speaker 2:Talk about that Most people don't have an understanding of their own definition of a decision. But when you add in non to the word decision, that changes everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a non-decision is a non-negotiable. You've made the decision once and you don't renegotiate with the decision. You make the decision once and you don't make the decision again. Once you make a decision, once, it's truly a decision. The root word of decision is desi, which means to cut off, and so, if you think about this, I've made a decision, this is the direction we're going in. Nothing, no matter how hard the headwind is, I'm going to maintain a positive attitude above the horizon. I'm going to maintain maximum effort to fight through this. I'm going to cruise towards my direction A dabbling decision. The alternate side of this is like well, I'm going to make a decision as long as the weather and the climate is easy and I've got maybe a wind pushing behind me and everything's easy. As long as it's easy, then I'm going to keep moving that direction and dabbling shows up in so many areas of our lives.
Speaker 2:Dabbling in a career can be. Well, I'm good at these things and I got a job offer and the company that I'm going to take this offer from like they're good, but like I don't love everything about them, but the pay is good, so I'm going to go work for them and spend years of your life dabbling in a marketplace. Or you can get in a relationship and go man her and yoga pants is really all I need right now. And you begin to dabble in relationship, versus saying you know, I'm looking for someone who's strong in this area, I'm looking for someone whose faith is in Christ. I'm looking for someone who desires to be a great mother, who has, who has the same values I do, and you begin dabbling in relationships.
Speaker 2:You can begin dabbling in parenting by saying like, oh, I need to be, I need to be really present in the marketplace, I need to provide.
Speaker 2:I need to be really present in the marketplace, I need to provide, I need a house. And then you come home and you're still working on your phone and really you're getting a few minutes with your children every single day. In my opinion, that's dabbling in parenthood, and here's a statistic I didn't mean to share this, but here's a statistic that I hope kicks every father in the nuts because it certainly did for me too is that the average American child right now, in 2024, the average American child gets 27 seconds of each parent's presence per day. 27 seconds, if you think about that, that's a breath. That's because a lot of us we live in society where typically, a lot of times, both parents are working. A lot of times both parents have lots of obligations going on, are working. A lot of times both parents have lots of obligations going on. So how much time does an actual child get of presence? So presence is in proximity.
Speaker 1:We've talked about that, yeah, a lot of times that's. That's a point where you got to write down and make a mantra that presence. So proximity is not presence, yes, so presence is more than just proximity.
Speaker 2:Presence is right here. We're eye to eye, I'm with you, we're talking, we're engaged. You have my attention, you have my focus. Tony Robbins says where focus goes, energy flows. I can't give you my focus if I'm not focused on you. We can be in proximity all day long and I can be doing my own thing. Yeah, but children, because especially needs so much of the structure that a man can provide inside of a household, or wives need from us that it takes so much more.
Speaker 1:And I don't think anybody intends to be a really crappy parent, but if the average American child today is in 27 seconds, of attention, yeah, but I think a crappy parent and a crappy business owner, a crappy husband, crappy anything comes down to not having clarity of vision. What excellence looks like? Not operating on a core values and not consistently stacking the victory of keeping your nose up, your attitude and keeping positive powerful forward effort in the direction you're moving in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you ever want to test your attitude and your effort, that's coming home from work after a long day to a wife that needs you and to a children that the two children that desire you, and you having to choose to have a positive attitude with them and then also giving of yourself to make sure that they don't get your leftovers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you're in the domain of being single, I'd say the same area has been building your craft, building your mastery. If you are in a profession, I always think about sales Every man should sell, know how to sell.
Speaker 1:The foundation of sales. Foundation of sales is very much like anything else. It's like endurance running. You've got to keep your pipeline full and so do the daily, non-negotiable, the boring stuff consistently, so that you can eventually enjoy the fruit of a bountiful harvest down the road. But but that consistency is doing the thing that you know you should be doing when you don't feel like doing it.
Speaker 2:That's absolutely true, and we've talked to you. So you mentioned really, really well on the necessity of a vision. Yeah, going from point A to point B, you've got to decide where you want to go. You have to know about where you want to go and the big key there, after vision, being attitude and effort. But I think in the portion that I want to really land on here is is what a non-decision is, is this guy's? Nobody negotiates with you more than you. Yeah, nobody negotiates with you more than you.
Speaker 2:And the only way a decision becomes a non-decision is when you see through what you've decided, regardless of how you feel, regardless of how tired you may be in a moment, that every morning you and I get up we do cold plunges. There's not a morning in my life that I wake up and look forward to going outside because mine's on my back patio. Going outside when it's 18 degrees and getting in 38 degree water for around four and a half to five minutes is my average plunge. Nobody looks forward to that, and I certainly don't, but I do it because I decided this is part of who I am. This is what I'm going to do, and I certainly don't, but I do it because I decided this is part of who I am, this is what I'm going to do, this will be part of my daily seven days a week that I'm going to do, and so where does that play out in our lives? It's only a non-decision. When I quit negotiating with myself, I already decided I know I don't feel like it, I know.
Speaker 1:I actually don't want to. I'm the core values of who you say you are. I want to spend a couple of minutes talking about core values on this, because defining your core values allows you to live a life of design rather than default, right? So the default nature of all of us, every single person I'll talk about myself here. My default nature I'm lazy. I want to take the shortcut, I want to find the easiest path. Yeah, my default nature is like I don't really want to do the work. I want to figure out a way to get to the vacation point without actually the attitude and the effort. I just want to transport there. Right.
Speaker 1:But if you don't, if you live by default, first off, you know where your life's going to go. You're going to be that start stop guy. You're going to be the um. You're going to be the accumulation of all the poor decisions and all the poor examples you've had in your life. And so you can probably think of some people like I want to be nothing like that person. Think about so many minutes like I don't want to be anything like my father because of this, and so you think of that. Right, if you don't live by design, which is the opposite of your default nature. You end up defaulting and you just end up nose diving that plane consistently over time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and even I love that you talked about design. I'm I'm. Other part of my life is that I'm a builder, and I would never go and order materials, I would never go and hire contractors to build something for me without first having a great architect come up with a plan, a detailed plan of everything I need, from from getting geotech done so I know what soil I'm building on, to getting an engineer to sign off on the foundation that I'm going to build on. So good. And then, once I have the engineering and the architectural sign off, do I say, okay, great, now I'm ready to take step one, to order materials and start to build. And how does that play out in our lives? Is really is having the core value of realizing what we need, what we have to put in place, and so don't ever start to build something unless you know what you're getting into.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's scripture and I'm going to do a terrible job butchering this, but it's like count the cost before you build. Count the cost and so know what it is you're stepping into. Which is the vision, the planning process, and everyone needs to plan some capacity, and the core values are what do I need to value to make my vision easy and automatic? And that's where the non-decisions go into place.
Speaker 2:That's very true. So this is a how for men is well, how do I understand what my true values are? Most people have not taken the time to sit down and research and there are dozens, if not hundreds, of potential values that we can carry in our lives. But if you'll take a look at your free time specifically, so if you work Monday through Friday, look at how you spend your Saturday morning, from whether you sleep in, whether you're whatever activities you're involved in, if your free time is Saturday, because a lot of times Sundays are spent doing family things, doing laundry, doing your self-rate for the week but Saturday really exposes where we value, what we value in our life. For guys that can be working on the car in the man cave, for guys that can be going to hang out with the boys, going to sporting events, things like that how do you do you spend it with your family? Do you spend it with people? To expose your true values? Again, look at your calendar, how you spend your Saturday, specifically your Saturday mornings Also where you spend your money.
Speaker 1:I think where you spend your money, where you spend your time, will give you great indicators of what you value. And if you don't love what's on paper, where you spend your money, where you spend your it, is that showcasing something that maybe you value Like man. I don't want this to be a public value because I'm not very proud of it. That's an actual value. It's an actual value that you're living by the difference between actual value and an aspirational value. Say that there's other things you want to value.
Speaker 1:The only difference between actual and aspirational is the action you take in the middle. And so when you define what your aspirational core values are, this is where you get to design your life and, just like an architect, you say this is the direction, this is the trajectory, these are angles, this is what a great life looks like, this is where I'm going to take the plane. That's an aspiration, because you don't have it yet. And there's a certain action you're doing, living by consistently, consistently inconsistent, and the only difference in the middle is the action you take. And so when you take that action towards your aspirational values, those eventually become your core value. That's huge and everybody has values.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's only when you decide to create core values that you can create positive change in your life.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that's where the non-decisions come in, because I say that. One of my core values I think my four primary core values they create an acronym called GROW First one is God first, go first. Then it's responsibility, respect, ownership and win-win. In order for those to be actual core values, I need to run my life through the filter of them, and so am I living in line with God first, go first. Well, I go first a lot. I take action on things that I know that I want to do God first. I'm working on every single day, but it becomes a measurable point to see okay, this is a good decision, this is a great decision, and I consistently move towards the direction of a better core value.
Speaker 2:I love that, and it's huge. So a value in the last year of family household is that we finish what we start. So good, we finish what we start, building in consistency. You have to if you, if you desire to go anywhere positive in your life, and so that's something that we, that radiates within not just my family but my family of choice with with the marriage. The family that I married into is that's the uncle Bob clan tribe, and so that has been a value of theirs that we have taken on to as a last year is that we finish what we start.
Speaker 2:So, regardless of how I feel, regardless of how tired I am, regardless of what's going on in my life, if I start something I'm going to finish, but as, as the leader of my household, because I'm I'm clearly a man I have to live that first. I have to live that consistently first. Once I've mastered that, once I've got time in on that, then I can start to build consistency of finishing things in my marriage as we make decisions with my spouse and again, as time builds on that too. So I've got an individual consistency going on, I've got my marriage consistency going on, then I can begin to expect that out of my children. One, they have a template and two, they've seen it played out in front of their own eyes.
Speaker 2:So I think about just even recently, I've got a five-year-old daughter that a little over two years ago she wanted to get involved in dance, so we put her in dance lessons and dance school, so in ballet specifically, and she's had a great time with it. But here recently, I think it was November of 23. She started to tell me, like daddy, I don't want to do this anymore, and like we didn't want to go to classes anymore. And so I said, okay, well, let's talk more about that in our household. I let, I want, I want to create dialogue with my children so it's not just do what I say, kind of thing. I want her to grow up in an atmosphere where we have dialogue. So, okay, great, well, tell me why you don't want to do this anymore. And as she was four at the time, but her just being able to vocalize to me why she didn't want to do anymore, I said, okay, great, that's logical.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you also wanted to sign up for this and so that that ends in May of 2024. So what you're going to do is you're going to continue to go to classes. You can finish out those classes with your last recital and we can also start to do something new in the interim. So she just started T-ball because she wanted to do some T-ball or some softball rather. So she's playing softball, but she's also going to see through the rest of her ballet and also do her recital before we end it.
Speaker 1:But just because our children want to stop doing things, I have to instill in them that, as a last rule, we finish what we start. Yeah, that's so good. And what I love about that, too, is that it doesn't mean you can't change the trajectory of the plane that you're on. It means you follow through what you say and you, you land the plane and you replan a new vision, but you don't crash. Land the plane. Crash. Landing the plane is I've got a parachute like F. You all like, I'm gonna handle this, I'm out of here. I'm out of here. Like you know, my attitude is already nose diving. Um, you know, below the horizon, I'm gonna stop putting in forward effort and I'm gonna, I'm gonna jump on the bed. I don't like this anymore. I don't think I want to do this. I'm not having fun. Oh mercy, I'm not happy anymore.
Speaker 2:How many times has that played out Great. You need to land the plane. You need a positive attitude, even on a descent. Think on a plane. Even on a descent this is so good the attitude is still up. You never see a plane land with its nose down unless it's crashing. So even as it's coming into its destination, has a runway in sight, the nose is up. There still has to be effort pushing down to create that pressure to have a safe and worthy landing. Yes, so you still still requires the attitude, still requires the effort, still requires the vision. But you can. You can bring something to a close without burning a bridge. Ah, so good. So it's just things to think about is is land the plane, finish what you start, make that a mantra in your life, walk it out. That's how you start to build consistency consistently. That's how you start to build consistent consistency in your life and, my goodness, as a man, our number one need in life is respect. Being a consistent man will bring you respect. Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1:And there there's there's so much tenderness. And, as he shares this, because this is what we're talking about, before the episode where so much of my pattern when I hit too much of a tailwind, a front wind, what is it? A headwind, headwind, headwind. Yeah. Where I've been, like you know what? I'm so good at starting the plane. I can gas that guy up, I can get the lift, I can get the effort forward, I can move in its directory and I can. I can create, craft a good vision. But I'm also really good at bailing out. I'm really good at putting the parachute on and pulling the ripcord and being like peace.
Speaker 1:I'm out of this thing and what I will tell you, the biggest frustration I have in my life in this season, and probably like every single season leading up to my 40th year, is the realization that a I either started the trip with an unclear vision like that, that is like a big thing, like oh, I just want to get up, let's just get the plane off the ground, which is emotionally yeah, so let's just get the plane off the ground. Once we get in the air, we'll figure it out. If a captain of an airline said guys, we don't know clearly where we're going, but just hop on, because we're gonna have a great little little ride Right. And then if the captain also says you know, I'm just going to put this parachute on and bail out, that destroys reputation, first and foremost, but more so.
Speaker 2:You'll never fly again. You'll never fly again, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so you think about in business and you know person, business relationship, all kinds of things. The lack of clarity of the vision of the values in the beginning has created so many self ejecting moments in my life. I'm like, ah, that is like the biggest lesson I got to work through.
Speaker 2:I love that for you more, because I know who you are and, uh, as you've made the change in your life that you made against, it's why I get to respect you on a level that I do. It's, honestly, why I choose to do friendship with you is that radiates in and through you. Um, I didn't know you before then, so that's great for me also. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But also. What I will say, though, is, if you know that you have a pattern of pulling the rip core, the hitting the eject button, like just crash landing planes maybe crash landed planes in the past before there's a couple of things, you do One you get clarity of vision. You start to define your core values, like that's essential, that's before you even do lift off. But also you get a co. You get a co-pilot who sits next to you, and the big reason I'd say the primary reason, selfish reason that I like tethered up with you, josh, is because you're one of the most consistent dudes I know, especially in the domain of family, and so I think about that. There's a model, there's a template, and there's somebody next to you, like literally inside the cockpit, just saying, oh, this is the direction that we said we're going to go, this is what a win looks like. We're going to face some headwinds, but we're not in this alone. That's what we get to do, left together.
Speaker 2:That's huge. That's where most men miss it. Yeah, again, this goes back to the lone wolf. The lone wolf is told to go die, but someone who has a, someone who's piloting their life which means they've made that choice and ushers in a community around them, is phenomenal. The radio tower, the other voices you're getting. The radio tower, yeah, you will get. You will get to your destination Even if, like, you're exhausted and need to need need someone else to take the wheel. Yeah, if you lose your way and a storm comes or a side wind comes or cross wind comes and blows you off course the radio tower is going to tell you hey, to get back on course, do this way West East or whatever you need to do, and you'll get to where you're going. Yeah, on our own, we'll fail 100%. Failure only happens when we quit.
Speaker 1:Failure only happens when we quit.
Speaker 2:Yes, I've got several successful businesses. I've also failed businesses, and the only way to truly be successful in any area of your life is to allow the effort than what you've done. Maybe it didn't work out, that's fine. That doesn't mean you're a failure. It's when you quit you become a failure.
Speaker 1:Yes, so you just can't. You can't quit in the end of your life. Yeah, so good, so good. So much meat here. I want to, I want to encapsulate this.
Speaker 1:And so we're talking about a plane. Every guy has been on a plane in some capacity. You recognize, before you step on that plane, you've got a trajectory, you have a vision. Step one you know that you're point A and you want to travel to point B. That's your vision. Your core values are your non-decisions. These are your designed life rather than your default nature, your default life.
Speaker 1:Once you get into the air, you defy gravity, you get off the ground and you're up in the air and you can see in sight somewhere in the future. Okay, we're moving towards there. You're going to face challenges. You're going to face obstacles. You're going to face challenges. You're going to face obstacles. You're going to face a massive headwind.
Speaker 1:You're going to get off course from time to time, but you need to have, like the essential tools, which is attitude and effort, a positive attitude, no matter what, no matter what you're facing. You got to keep that nose pointed up. Effort forward thrust even through the hardest storms, and, probably the most important piece, especially if you have a pattern of starting, stopping and being inconsistently consistent. You need to have a co-pilot, a co-pilot's in the cockpit with you that's helping you forward, face through the challenges. Not only the co-pilot, but you've got a radio tower that says all right, you guys need to go one degree west and you guys got to move a little bit faster, a little more effort, a little more thrust, because the challenge you're facing is only temporary. The storm is only temporary.
Speaker 2:If you're willing to do that, if you're willing to really have a great attitude, if you're willing to put massive effort at the direction of your first officers I think they're called or at the direction of the tower, you can fly over storms. Yeah, and planes do that all the time. There'll be a circumstance in front of them. They There'll be a circumstance in front of them. They'll either fly around it because they were told hey, this is coming, or they have the ability, because of the effort, because of the power of the thrust, to get over the weather. So the weather is happening to everybody underneath it, but with the right alignment, with the right people around you, with a positive attitude, with full thrust going on, you will literally fly over and eclipse yourself of going through weather circumstances. Difficulty, grief, pain, agony all those things you can get over and not have to go through them. Yeah, some people think I set out on this course and I'm gonna run into things. That's probably true to some regard. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you have to.
Speaker 1:you get those items in place and you can literally fly over it. I love that, I love, I love that, I love that. Man, this is our best episode yet, you think so I think so, 100%.
Speaker 2:So consistency, man. Consistency is the gatekeeper to the respect that you need in your life, the respect that you so desire in your life. If there's areas of your life and I'm sure it's as many of you that you don't feel like you're respected, I guarantee you, if you were to dust off those bones, just like an archeologist pulls out a dinosaur be honest with yourself and dust them off it's because you're being inconsistent in some areas. Yes, you may be inconsistent in a lot of areas. The beautiful thing about that is it doesn't have to be that way. You can make the. You can decide to change, you can decide to understand that I have. I actually can own my attitude. I can own my effort. Get those in place, get around so I can help you with your vision and see where that takes you. Build a consistent life. Do that for 10 years. Do it for 10 years and see where you are. I can't even I can't even encapsulate for you the kind of life you can anyone can have if they chose to do that.
Speaker 1:A truly fulfilled life, where you're operating from your highest self. You're an example in your faith, fitness, family, finances. You are truly the high value man that is going to lead us through the darkness. We're in a dark time where people are starting stopping crash landing planes, pulling the eject button, the rip cord, because of a selfish decision, because of fear, because of obstacles and outcome, but right now we need, more so than ever, high value men that are going to truly lead in that direction. Indeed, yeah, indeed Boom. Much love, many blessings. We'll see you guys on the next episode.
Speaker 2:Yes, peace you off the podcast. Get back to the fucking mental lab.