The High Value Man Conversation
The High Value Man gets what he wants from WOMEN, WORK AND THE WORLD OF MEN. He's confident, charismatic, creative and collaborative and it all begins with High Value Conversations. Have a listen to this weeks High Value Conversation.
Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
Are You Really My Friend? The Question Cards Game - HVM EP#14
What if you could revolutionize your relationships through the power of intentional conversation? On this episode of the High-Value Men Conversation Podcast, we uncover the transformative potential of "the and" conversation cards, designed to spark meaningful dialogues across various relationship types—from friendships to romantic connections and even encounters with strangers. We dive into personal reflections and relationship challenges, illustrating how curiosity and intentionality are crucial for maintaining chemistry and depth. By demonstrating an example exercise with these cards, we reveal how profound insights can emerge, underscoring the importance of seeking both counsel and healthy competition for personal growth.
This episode is a raw and unfiltered look into the dynamics that have shaped our relationship, the challenges we've faced, and the moments that have tested our bond. We open up about the vulnerabilities and honest reflections that come with asking the tough questions, providing listeners with an intimate glimpse into the real and sometimes messy journey of friendship.
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Ooh. There's no reason that you should step into a stale relationship, especially if you deploy some tool.
Speaker 2:I see you being the guy that's 70 years old with the 8-pack, repping out 40 pull-ups and still running faster than the cats in their 20s. It's a million a month. A million a month. A million a month. That's actually where I was headed. I'd love to see you one-on-one with Tony. We all understand that in order to grow a muscle, you've got to tear it down first. Every area of your life you intentionally seek counsel, seek challenges, seek competition, and I see you as a man that lives Ooh.
Speaker 1:I think the hardest thing for you in our relationship is. This is the High Value man Conversation Podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high-value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you, then who? Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation. This is episode 14. This is an unscripted episode and we're going to be walking you guys through one of my favorite tools in developing closer connection and intimacy.
Speaker 1:I've deployed this tool in a relationship. I'm deploying this tool inside of the dating space and it is such a good little, this tool up your sleeve to be able to develop deeper relationship. But there is this company called the and, and I'll tag them in it. But the and creates these conversation cards. They're a bunch of questions for the different types of relationship that you might might be in. So we've got the friends edition, there's the dating edition and then there's the strangers edition. Honestly, the strangers edition is some of the most like deep, intimate questions. You're not going to be strangers after you run through a couple of these cards, but this is the one that I use in the dating space and it just creates a good conversation and engagement. There's no reason that you should step into stale relationship, especially if you deploy some tools, and so what we're going to showcase for you guys is the friends deck, but, more so than anything, just the type of questions that you should be having with your friendships, your partnerships, your relationships, your person, because, at the end of the day, the curiosity is what keeps the chemistry alive.
Speaker 1:Powerful yes, Very powerful. So the way this game works. Josh, Josh has never played this before. And, yes, Very powerful. So the way this game works. Josh, Josh has never played this before and I said, hey, I got a great idea for our next podcast episode. The way this works is we each take seven cards, and I've already shuffled them.
Speaker 2:So these are, these are random. Everybody. These are random. We didn't pre-check these, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we'll, we'll do a quick little shuffle so that you can see how random they are, and you ask the person the question and you have to answer the question. There's no like do-overs, like next one, and so we're going to run through this, run through the seven cards each and, yeah, just, we'll see what comes up. Let's do it Cool. One, two, three, four, five, six and seven. You can get these on Amazon. They have a brilliant website, the, and I think it's the and, um, I don't know, it's called the skin deepcom, where you get a little bit deeper with your questions. Sounds, uh, sounds naughty. Yes, yes, and they do have some naughty decks. So there's about 20 different decks they have. They've got a kid's version. Um, like I said, they got the relationship to dating. They have a long-term relationship, there's a kid's one, but there's some spicy, spicy questions once you step into the relationship, once All right, sick you going first.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, all right, what's the hardest thing for me to learn?
Speaker 2:Hardest thing for Aaron to learn.
Speaker 2:Hardest thing for Aaron to learn? Learn hardest thing for Aaron to learn? Um, I'll dig deep on this one. So I would say the hardest thing for Aaron to learn is just to come out the right way. I just say it is knowing that you are as sharp as you, as you are, um, being around you, having a friendship with you. I think you have a concept or an understanding of what you have to give value-wise. But from being outside your sphere and continually moving to being inside your sphere is getting to experience you with other men and the amount of sharpness, wisdom, value. You see space where you know you can bring value and you step into it. I'm not really sure you understand how sharp you are and it's been a pair of very powerful thing that I've gotten to be around and something that I certainly appreciate about you very, very much. It's just how I mean you're a double-edged sword. You really are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I received that. Cool, I love it. Yeah, you're up. Oh, you answer the card too or no? Nope, okay, first card I've got. Oh, you answer the card too or no? Nope, okay, first card I've got. What do you think is the hardest thing for me regarding our relationship?
Speaker 1:Oh, I think the hardest thing for you in our relationship is capacity. Honestly, you're a father of one. You got a new one on the way. You're obviously father of one. You got a new one on the way. You're obviously a husband. You are a lead inside of the construction company. You've got your own men's coaching. You're a leader inside of Mighty Men and then you've got your own stuff that you're doing in regards to working out and discipling and everything else. So I think the hardest thing with our relationship is I know I want to spend more time with you. I know you want to spend more time with me. You want to invest more time into the business, but I think that the hardest thing for right now is just capacity.
Speaker 2:I can't deny that. I can't deny that, yeah, love it.
Speaker 1:This is good, all right, what's one thing you really want to experience? No, wait, what's one thing you really want me to experience?
Speaker 2:Ooh being a father.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Being a father, yeah, same, yeah, there's so much I could say about that, but uh, just generally speaking, who you are, who you roll with, what's your values are, uh, the type of woman that you're going to wife, um, and then the spawn of y'all's seed will be very exciting, but I think seeing you walk out being a father is one of the things I most look forward to. Just being in the gallery.
Speaker 1:I love that man. I received that. That moves me emotionally and I think the confidence that I have in this season of life, knowing that I can step into that, having such good templates around me, is one of the greatest gifts, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's invaluable. It's invaluable. Card number two. Make it. Make it a deep one. What is the experience that connected us the most, and why?
Speaker 1:What is the experience that connected us the most and why? There's a couple that come to mind. I think the relationship coaching that I did with you and your wife huge. I got to see really the model between you and Brittany, how you guys handle conflict. But I think the discipling of men inside of mighty men and then the third piece being what we're doing now is, you know, so there there's like multiple layers to this and I think that's how relationships really develop is there's there's like your gateway in the door.
Speaker 1:Typically, I think, in most masculine relationships you're bringing somebody in to mentor or model something and then so that was kind of the start of it in that season, and then it's really now coming up side by side and linking up. And Did you answer the why portion? Why, oh, why? The why? Because you have a template worth following, josh. Yeah, the why is, you know, I have been blessed to have some great men in my life, but you know somebody that's got faith, fitness, family and finances dialed in and is showing fruit in all of those domains and in the relationship where your wife chooses you, your daughter chooses your son soon and the other men around you. So much can be said about a man when the men around him respect him, you know in every domain, right, and so some guys would, maybe just crushing it at work, but their home life is just in trash, right, and so, like having every single corner of your life where there's like inbound respect, it says a lot about you. So that's, that's why I behind it, I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2:Don't jack it up, josh. No sabotage here. Oh, I went. I went last Okay.
Speaker 1:All right. What does my future look like, mine or yours? What does my future look like? My future, ooh. What does my future look like? My future, ooh.
Speaker 2:One I know that you will have. I'm just going to attempt to value it here. I think you're going to have, at minimum, a mass of about 100,000 men that want to emulate what you have. You will be a not just a millionaire, but a multi multimillionaire, exceeding the tens, probably exceeding more than that, which I'm very grateful for. You're going to have an amazing marriage. An amazing marriage, a type of home that you probably don't want to leave, but you're going to choose to leave it because you know there's a calling on on on on your life from other men. You're going to have children that want to do life with you. I see it as in this is a lesson I'm learning later in my life is that that children hold the power to choose their parents back. They don't get the option the first 18 years, but if you have a child that's in their twenties and thirties and forties that chooses to stay in your draft, that wants to follow you, I know that's the type of type and type of children you're going to have.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you're a rock. I see you being the guy that's 70 years old with the eight pack uh, repping out 40 pull-ups and still running faster than the cats in their twenties. And so, again, talking about faith, family fitness and finance, just watching you crush it in all those areas is, uh, is going to be awesome. It's awesome, man. I appreciate that. Thank you, yeah, Question number three for me what is something you never want me to forget?
Speaker 1:Oh, what is something I never want you to forget? I don't know if this lands, but I'm thinking and this leans into previously what I said about capacity. Something I never want you to forget, josh, is that you are the head of the ship in your family, your business, your relationships and so many men rely on you, and so the thing that I'd want you to never forget is that your self-care and your time for you, and that daily devotion, dedication to whatever Josh needs, that's the greatest gift you can give to everybody. You think about when you step on a plane right and the flight attendant says if the cabin happens to lose pressure, put your mask on first. And I think the way you're wired and the way that I'm wired is we give to everybody else, we just give, we stretch, and there's a badge of honor that comes from, like doing more than we thought possible.
Speaker 1:But the greatest gift and thing that I'd want you to never forget is, like if you go down like that is a massive ripple effect and so put your mask on first. And whatever that looks like from a self-care capacity standpoint, where it's just a date of doing nothing, like recharging, like whatever that is, I don't know, that'd be what I want you to never forget Powerful, you got to go first. That does mean a lot. Yeah, all right. What do you think? Why do you think we get along so well? Because you're a savage.
Speaker 2:Let's go, and you're willing to punch me in the face? Let's go, and you're willing to punch me in the face. Let's go. Um, you, you emulate what masculinity is in my definition.
Speaker 2:Um you're strong after God, you are all about making yourself better. You have multitude of counsel that you not only seek but you pay for, and you're always so. I love this uh phrase of living sore. We all understand that in order to grow a muscle, you've got to tear it down first. Every area of your life, you intentionally seek counsel, seek challenges, seek competition, and I see you as a man that lives sore from all these areas, and so it's just, it's powerful.
Speaker 1:Amen to that man, amen, so you're never allowed to leave me, because I will, that man Amen.
Speaker 2:So you're never, you're never allowed to leave me, because I will chase you down. Cool Question number six what's one improvement I could make in my personal appearance?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good. Well, the hair looks great. Did that? Yeah For it. Yes, that's, that's not one personal appearance. Um, I want to see what the six pack. I want to see what the six pack, and most because I want to create some cool content. Uh, just shredded six pack, chiseled, and not necessarily an improvement because you're, you're like powerful man. Um, you got the stature for it, but I just think it'd be dope as a as we're stepping into this season of business. Um, let's get shredded with six packs.
Speaker 2:I love that you said that I was thinking eight. As you were thinking, I was like go for my gut, tell me about my gut, tell me. So yeah, I've got the four, but six is great. I need to, and we'll push to get the eight back.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, now I got to get another two. All right, who do you think I should go to for mentorship? Ooh, that's a good question.
Speaker 2:That's tough. Um, goodness, goodness, goodness, this is an area that you seek out anyway. So I'm thinking, I'm thinking like 10 X, of who you already seek out. Um, and you know that I love following Tony Robbins. I know you're going to say, tony Robbins, I would love to see you, not just. Maybe a platinum would be the first step of that to get in his sphere.
Speaker 1:His one-on-one coaching used to be a million dollars a year, but it's probably a lot more than that. It's a million a month.
Speaker 2:Million a month. Million a month.
Speaker 1:So that's actually where I was headed. I'd love to see you. Minimum 10 million a month, yeah, okay, cool, all of it is achievable 100%. I love that. I knew you were going to say Tony Robbins, you know, I'm up next.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're up. So what do you think I value most?
Speaker 1:Your relationship with God, first and foremost, and then I'd say your, your wife and your family, and then your group of men, I think probably in that order. Master, your where your? I think your missions is right up there to your mission, with, like, discipling men, building better men, becoming the best version of yourself and your mate, like those three are. Just, they're right up there. Yeah, I'd agree with that. Yeah, that's good. What about our dynamic? Concerns you? What's?
Speaker 2:concerning what about our dynamic concerns me. That's tough. We've actually gone to pretty great depths weaving who we are together and we have so much synergy. What concerns me? I don't actually have a concern right now. Oh, I'll make one up, although it's a semi-concern. It's just coming to me. So what concerns me is we're going to do very, very well together. It's just coming to me. So what concerns me is we're going to do very, very well together, and I also know that, or I also think, that on some level, that cash can burn a hole in your pocket, just a little bit For sure, and so not that I have any worry of like you're going to drown the ship by any means, but I think you're going to have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna have a lot of fun. I'd say that the stewarding, the opportunities I've had, has been the one discipline, and I'm a 40 year old single guy which is like it's been great. But there's also a season of family coming around the corner and so being able to be a good, wise steward of that is definitely a discipline to work on.
Speaker 2:So you, you have the capacity and have produced a lot of cash, and you can also be pretty good about using it. For sure, the house looks amazing it does look amazing. It's so sick you've been here a week and it's like this house is is ready for model man.
Speaker 1:It's yeah, spectacular amen.
Speaker 2:All right, you're up let's see what was your first impression of me that you never told me first impression of you um?
Speaker 1:where was the first time we met? Was it through coaching?
Speaker 2:I think it was. It was probably digitally yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, digitally, through coaching. I don't know that I had anything. It was neutral, I think, neutral just in regards to feeling out the relationship and the friendship. I think the first time I actually had an idea of like who you were as a man was seeing you lead in sons of thunder, like in the small group after we broke away from the large group and in the smaller room, just seeing your ability to command a room, communicate well, articulate. I remember thinking, oh, this is the type of guy that I can definitely link up with because he's a good natural leader. So I respect great communication, leadership and the ability to take control of a room, and so you did that very well. Um, I think that our first digital uh, media I'd have, it was neutral, but then when I saw you actually show up inside of a room, I respected you. Yeah, makes sense. Good, okay, what's something we should do together? And why climb a mountain? Okay, like a 14 or like a 14 or okay.
Speaker 2:Reason being is I've I've done it once with another group. I know that you intend to do it this year also, but the amount of pain that we endured together, the memories that were made in that the, the brotherhood and support that came in a hundred different moments as we were going up, that that that ascent was powerful, and because you carry so much meaning in my life is I look forward to embracing the suck together with you.
Speaker 1:Amen, cool, yeah, I love it. Guys, this is a snapshot of what you can create with intentional conversation cards. Um, you get these on Amazon and, more so than anything, take time to be intentional in your relationships. I think the coolest thing about Josh's relationship and I is that we have a brief amount of time actually together throughout the week, but I feel like I've known you for decades because of the level of a. We're in alignment. Our vision and our core values are very similar. We're rowing the boat in the same direction. We know why we're here. We're purposeful, we're intentional, we pursued the relationship, we take time for the relationship and we're willing to go deep and that's just the cool thing about this and so be willing to take yourself there. If you want to have meaningful relationships in your life, be willing to go to this level. It's awesome. This is fun. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1:We should do this every couple episodes, just kind of mix things up. I think it's a neat way to throw in some little new flavor. It is, I like it, cool. Yes, much love, many blessings. Talk to you guys soon. Boom, we off the podcast. Get back to the fucking mental lab.