The High Value Man Conversation
The High Value Man gets what he wants from WOMEN, WORK AND THE WORLD OF MEN. He's confident, charismatic, creative and collaborative and it all begins with High Value Conversations. Have a listen to this weeks High Value Conversation.
Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
Building a Life You Love: Reclaiming Time and Prioritizing What Matters Most
Ever feel like your day is slipping away in a sea of distractions? Discover how to reclaim your time and elevate your life by mastering the art of scheduling and prioritizing. This episode is packed with insights on how a structured schedule can transform your daily routine and reveal your true priorities. We dive into actionable strategies that help you meticulously plan your time blocks, from everyday tasks to personal development, ensuring that the most important aspects of your life receive the attention they deserve. Using the powerful analogy of rocks, pebbles, and sand, we illustrate how filling your schedule with meaningful activities first can effectively keep distractions at bay.
Join us as we explore the critical importance of intentional scheduling across various life domains such as faith, fitness, family, and finances. Learn practical tips from real-life examples, like a couple who regularly reviews their finances to build a solid foundation, and understand why your Saturday mornings can be a reflection of your true priorities. We also reveal the secrets behind a structured morning routine modeled after top CEOs and introduce the concept of "Eat the Frog" to tackle your hardest tasks first. With advice on weekly and monthly reviews, this episode equips you with the tools to master your schedule and become the high-value individual you aim to be. Don't miss out on these invaluable insights that could lead to a more productive and fulfilling life.
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For the guys out there that have five alarms 10 alarms go down to one alarm and see if you can take yourself seriously. My mornings start at the same time. Every day I get to 4.15. Device down, eye to eye, belly to belly, giving you the best parts of myself. The average child gets 27 seconds and we wonder what's wrong with our kids today.
Speaker 2:This is all about scheduling and prioritizing and protecting what's most important to you. You think you're actually going to conquer the day. Be confident and protecting what's most important to you. You think you're actually going to conquer the day. Be confident as you take on new challenges. No, you're going to keep taking hits between the leg and then be a slob. Good heavens.
Speaker 1:Grow up, grow a set. You've got your own schedule. Last time I checked, your wife isn't your mother, and so I do about four and a half minutes in a 38 degree ice bath where I'm speaking my own declarations over myself. I'm in prayer and I'm speaking what my day is going to look like.
Speaker 2:This is the High Value man Conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you, then who? Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation. This is episode 16, be a Great Finisher. Come on, that's not the episode name. This is all about scheduling and prioritizing and protecting what's most important to you, but we are going to talk about being a great finisher. To be a great finisher, you have to be a great planner, because nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.
Speaker 2:And we're going to talk about scheduling, planning, proper preparation and how you get the most important things in throughout the week. Previous episode we talked about no leftovers, and no leftovers means that you're giving your best and highest the things that are most important to you. So first and foremost, you have to discern what's most important to you, but then you also have to plan and prepare in an intentional way so those are getting your most amount of attention, absolutely true.
Speaker 1:So if you're jumping in on this episode and you haven't listened to our previous episode, episode 15, go back and listen to it. That'll prep you for our conversation today. You don't want to miss that A lot of meat on that bone from episode 15. But yes, so episode 16 is schedules reveal priorities. As men, our schedules reveal our priorities. That may not make a whole lot of sense right now, but it certainly will here over the next few minutes. And so what we like to say, or what I like to say, aaron, is that a man with no plan is a man that's committed to his distractions. A man with no plan is a man committed to his distractions, and no man wants to draw a bell curve and put himself under that quote. No man does.
Speaker 1:We all want to think of ourselves as intentional. We all want to think of ourselves as going in the direction that our life needs to go in so that we can grow, so that we can continue to evolve, be successful in who we are. But, believe it or not, you've got a lot more distractions going on in your life than you likely are giving light to. A great way to reveal those to yourself is your schedule is your schedule. And so again, a man without a plan is a man who's already failed. A man without a plan is a man who's already failed. The reason I know I'm talking to the right demographic here is, historically, women are better with their schedules than men are. Why do I know this as a married man? When I approach another man and say, hey, I want to get together and do a dinner with you, or let's do something together as families, it's always the same response Well, let me talk. Talk to my wife, or can you have your wife tell my wife so that they can figure something out, put something on the schedule.
Speaker 2:People contact my people.
Speaker 1:Good heavens grow up, grow a set. Guys. You've got your own schedule. Last time I checked, your wife isn't your mother. Why do we have to go through this chain of command? You need to be the one creating your schedule. You need to be the one who's leading your family in that. For all the the guys out there that are hearing this, I hope it hits you in the stomach. Man up own your schedules.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's good. I know you operate your schedule a lot Like I operate my schedule. I live and die by my schedule. Like everything that is done in a week is on my schedule, from walking my dog to intentional content writing, to my deep work time, to silent time, to my workouts, exercise, community time with men, coaching, all of it. Like it's all in the schedule. It's blocked out. It's blocked out. Everything's got a time block.
Speaker 2:And the reason being is I know that anything that doesn't is not blocked out, something will spill that fill that space, and the things that fill that space are, more often than not, distractions and they're really the the, the, the sand in life that ends up just taking space and not allowing you to really move forward on the missions that you want to do. So there's a visual that I want you guys to imagine, because I don't have rocks, sand and pebbles here. But imagine that this bottle that I have here in front of me it's empty and I've got a set of rocks, I've got a pile of pebbles and then I've got a bunch of sand. But just saying most people put the sand in first. The sand is all of your distractions throughout the week. Your Netflix binging it's a time on social media. By the way. Check how much time you're spending on social media throughout the week, like it should shock you, because if you can do that through the app and you see you're spending three, four or five hours throughout the week just scrolling mindlessly, doom scrolling, like where else could that time be spent?
Speaker 2:So your, your sand is all your distractions. Your pebbles are all the things you got to do throughout the week. Maybe it's drive time, maybe it's dry cleaning, it's going to be just picking people up. It's the things you just have to do throughout the week. The rocks the most important piece are often the last thing put in into the bottle of your week. And so you got your sand in, you got your pebbles and then you realize, oh my God, I haven't scheduled date night, or I haven't got my workout in Holy cow, or I haven't done anything intentional to build my relationship with God. Your rocks going first, then your pebbles and then the sand on top and the whole bottle fills beautifully.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's a great. It's a great analogy, it's a great visual on how you can do your life, and so I think about even the rocks of whether it's scheduling a date night, doing workouts. The things that matter most to you have to be one you got to know what they are, yes, so good. And two, they've got to go into your schedule. If you live by the seat of your pants and don't have a schedule, well, it's time for you to turn 12 and start to use a schedule.
Speaker 1:And so it's time to man up with that. The reason why I say that is is this is my, my the most impactful thing that I think the Holy Spirit's ever dropped on me in my life, and so I'll give it to you here is that time is the only currency we'll ever get. Time is the only currency you will ever get. It's finite and when it's up, you can't get more right, you just can't get more. So life is a valuable thing, but for most men it doesn't become valuable until they're in their fifties. So it increases in value in their sixties and seventies, because towards the end of your life, you start to actually realize I'm coming to the end of this thing.
Speaker 1:I really want to squeeze the lemon. Well, if you're under those ages, guess what? You have the ability to get your life right now. If you'll realize that time is finite and treat it with a value that it needs to be treated with. And so, with that, choosing the rocks that you have, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with yourself and your body being healthy, doing the things you know you need to do for yourself, putting those in first, but that's putting that into your schedule first.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because we teach that you protect what you prioritize and you have to prioritize what you protect. So good. If you're not doing that and you're living by the seat of your pants, then you've opened yourself up to distraction.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Remember, a man without a plan is a man that's planned to fail. So, good, nobody sets out to fail. I don't wish that on anybody, so you've got to be intentional with it. I love, love, love that demonstration.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and your rocks. If you guys want a little bit of guidance on what your rock should be, we teach on this the four Fs. So we have faith, fitness, family and finances. So what does your rock look like on a daily and weekly basis for your faith, time and prayer, study, scripture, community service, church, your relationship with God, your purpose and your meaning? That's your faith, fitness.
Speaker 2:Pre-schedule your workouts throughout the week. Don't think that you're going to wake up motivated tomorrow morning to go work out to build a body that you want to do. There's no, nobody does it. I've been exercising for intentionally for a decade and I can tell you there's most days I don't feel motivated. I just don't, just don't even want to go. I don't feel motivated. And you're the type of guy you look at the workouts before you go. So you look at the wads like that would demotivate me more than anything. I have no idea what I'm going to get when I show up to jujitsu, but you schedule the things that are most important. So you have your faith, your fitness, your family. That means you're intentionally planning date night every single week, you, your kiddos If you're part of a community planning your service time that you're reaching out to your, your family of choice.
Speaker 2:Whatever that is, you plan that throughout the week. And then your finances. You better have time on a regular, weekly and daily basis to review your budget. Look at your sales forecasts, look at your numbers. Like plan the things are most important. Finances go down. You're in a scrambling, not going with the flow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for the majority of Americans that live paycheck to paycheck, which means the majority of the guys listening to this, this episode, are living paycheck to paycheck. You wonder why it's working out for you that way?
Speaker 1:So you live in a place of pain that, if a check doesn't show up on the 1st or the 15th, you would lose your mind because your whole life would fall apart. You've got to be on top of these things, and so, yes, scheduling time to go over your finances, being intentional about it, is something that most people won't take the time to do, aaron, because of how much it hurts, and it hurts emotionally is the reason why guys don't want to do it.
Speaker 1:But if you'll never grow on those, that area, you'll never be financially successful, much less financially free, unless you're willing to have the conversation, the dialogue, spend the time in the numbers that you need to making decisions, that you need to to have what you say, that you want. It's good, it's pivotal. It's pivotal. Britt and I do a finance meeting once, once a month. I've got friends that actually do them biweekly. They'll actually have a date night in their house where they pull up the Excel spreadsheet. The McCollums do this.
Speaker 2:They're the ones that taught us.
Speaker 1:And they're young. They're still. I think they're still in their twenties, they might be 30, but they've got the financial foundation now of people in their mid fifties. They're doing really, really well for themselves and it's not because they're making boo-coos of money. They've just been very strategic about being on top of their finances together and reviewing them together. It's a beautiful thing that they do and we'll certainly continue to do that at our house as well. Love that.
Speaker 1:What I love about schedules, aaron and this hits people hard and that's why I say it this way is that if you want to know what your priorities are because you ask a man what his priorities are, he may shoot you a couple of things, but most men don't really know what's a priority in their life of your schedule is the biggest reflection. Where you spend your time will tell me exactly what you prioritize. For most guys, that's probably office time For most guys, but how a man spends his Saturday morning is, for most men that work some sort of nine to five or a Monday through Friday, have free time on Saturdays and Sundays. If you're a responsible man, then probably spend Sundays preparing for the next week. Sure, typically when laundry's done, typically when grocery shopping is done, but Saturdays in general are relatively open, and a Saturday morning will expose what's truly a priority in your life. That's good.
Speaker 1:Whether that's getting up and working out going to be. You and I go are part of a large men's group, so every Saturday morning we get up at five or so. We're with our men from seven to nine.
Speaker 2:It's something we do every single Saturday of the year.
Speaker 1:It's a priority in our life. We've chosen to protect it. So a great barometer for you if you're listening to this and haven't really reviewed your own priorities is how are you spending your Saturday morning? It's good from 4.00 AM to noon. Where is that time spent in bed? Are you sleeping into 11 being job of the hut, or are you spending your time doing something that's not serving you?
Speaker 2:That's good, yeah. And I think the other good indicator of where your priorities are is actually looking at your schedule. And I more than likely, if you are in an office job, you work corporate, you work for somebody else or even for your entrepreneur you've got meetings stacked, you've got something on your schedule where somebody else is expecting to be there and be a certain way, like if you're expected to be at a Monday morning meeting. Every single meet, every single week. You're prepared for the meeting, your plan for the meeting, you know what hat you're going to wear for the meeting and so you have an idea of how to show up during that frame.
Speaker 2:But the rest of the week that may be unscheduled. Where does your family fit in? Where does your relationships fit in with your friends and community? Where does your your individual time with you developing the vision and the core values and stack of the victories? If you don't schedule that time and take that same level of intentionality and transition and identity creation that you're doing with the schedule that you're doing for work, you're not going to get the life that you want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and these are all the guys that say I don't have time for that. I don't have time for it. Listen, you're not as busy as you think you are. Anybody out there that hears my voice and wants to compare schedules, dm me. I'll gladly do that. It's not me puffing up my chest or saying that I'm better than you, it's. I have a very rigorous schedule that allows me to bring my best in the marketplace, but also allows me to have fitness in my life. It allows me to be a present and loving father. It allows me to be a great pursuer of my wife.
Speaker 2:So if you think you're too busy, you've just not prioritized these things in your life. You allowed everything else to take take precedent. One thing I want to touch on is this idea of planning what's most important first thing in the morning, and you do a great job of this with with you and Brit and and and your kiddo, but your most important tasks need to get done first thing in the morning. So talk to me a little bit about how you set your morning up for success by being intentional with your family.
Speaker 1:So my my mornings have been the same now, aaron, for probably going on a decade. So it's very easy for me to talk about. But at the same time I hope it challenges most men is that my mornings start at the same time every day. I get up at 4.15. It gives me time to get my coffee and I go up to my front office where I spend two hours in study and in the word. I'm always reading a book and I'm always in the word every single morning from 4.30 to 6.30. That's my quiet time. It's protected.
Speaker 1:I don't do anything else Immediately afterwards because my daughter gets up around 6.30 is. I will go and I'll get her out of bed and I'll carry her to our bed. I'll be very present with her, very sweet with her. I'll typically love on her a little bit, I'll speak sweet things over her and I'll kind of set her up. She's a slow to rise girl so I know that, but I'm very intentional about connecting with her when I transition her over to our bed as part of her wake up. And then the biggest thing I do for my wife is Brit will get up sometime between six and seven, especially now that she's pregnant.
Speaker 1:But my first interaction with my wife every single day is a 40 second hug. She'll either come into my study space or when I'm bringing my daughter and I'm waking her up and we literally would just embrace each other. We don't really say much, but we just hold each other. And the beautiful thing about a 40 second hug is it releases oxytocin, and oxytocin is the connector the connector, uh for us, and it really helps us to start our day in presence, in peace. It calms the body. It's a vasodilator, so it helps calm your heart, calm your flow, all these positive things that come from that. But it's a great way for us to literally connect every single morning by being intentional.
Speaker 1:So we start with a hug and then after that, around 7 am, is when I get my ice bath, and so I do about four and a half minutes in a 38 degree ice bath where I'm speaking my own declarations over myself, I'm in prayer and I'm speaking what my day is going to look like. After that, I shower, I get ready, I get my daughter out to school, I get myself into the office. So that's every day of the week. The only day it looks different is going to be Sundays. Um, because I don't have anything outside of church, but I still get up, I do my study, I do my cold plunge and then we get ready for church. But it's the same 365 days of the year.
Speaker 2:It's great man, that's awesome. And so what I hear you say, and that the guy should pick up to as they're listening, is that the most important aspect of the day you're getting done first thing in the morning. So the relationship time, the time with your daughter soon to be son on the way your study time, your personal devotion, dedication time you're doing it first thing in the morning. You're not waking and waiting to the end of the day and just going with the flow and thinking, oh you know what, I'm going to love up my wife and my kids at the end of the day rather than doing it first thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and hear me when I say this, because Aaron's the same way.
Speaker 2:What's up y'all? If you are a man struggling in his faith, fitness, family or in finances, you want to create breakthroughs and create fallible excellence in your life, join Josh and I in our free, High Value man community and get access to the six of the formula, as well as the relationship mastery course by mr josh absolutely, guys.
Speaker 1:We've got everything that you want in there. We've got everything from learning how to be consistent in your masculinity, creating structure in your home, understanding the discipline that it requires you to be a high value man, to be respected, to grow in your faith, family, finance and fitness to get to wherever you want to be a high value man, to be respected, to grow in your faith, family, finance and fitness, to get to wherever you want to be, the place that you say that you want to be, the man that you say that you want to become.
Speaker 2:Click the link, join the free community of the High Value man Movement so that you can become the example worth following. Lead in your faith, fitness, family and finances.
Speaker 1:Just click the link and join the free tribe is that it's never convenient to get up at four in the morning. It's never convenient to do these things that I do in the morning. It's a conscious choice. I made a decision at one point that this is what my life would look like and, honestly, I winged it from. The top 150 CEOs of the world all kind of had the same schedule and I looked at that.
Speaker 1:They do the same things every day. They get up at four. They are in some sort of study. They'll eat some sort of healthy meal and they'll eat some sort of healthy meal and they'll get their physical movement in for the day before they ever touch an email.
Speaker 1:And so I thought, if the top people of the world are doing this and I see myself that way then I need to model that Right. And so that's where it began, way back when it began. But you're absolutely right you can't wake up and think I'm going to have a great marriage, or that I'm going to have a great day, if I don't know what I'm going to do that day. I love that I'm not being strategic about it.
Speaker 2:I love that and that leans into how to really master your schedule. A great morning routine, a great schedule, is planned the night before. So your your PM time should be your time to actually look at, review, reflect on your next day If you think you're going to wake up in the morning, look at your schedule and then attack the day. You're already a day behind. Having intentional time the night before to do a brain dump, some type of intentional planning. Know what your priorities are for the day and this can be in the workplace. It's been your relationship, whatever it is but know what your biggest big three needle movers are for the day. And also taking time on a Sunday to actually plan your week. So Sunday time, plan the week ahead the night before to plan the next day, and then a monthly quarterly time to review your vision, mission and values.
Speaker 2:That right there will change your life. 100%, 100% Promise that I want to touch on this because I think it's so just easy to grasp. But there is actually. There's a CrossFit gym. Actually, there's a workout franchise called Eat the Frog. And Eat the Frog is this idea that if you had to eat a frog every single day, when would you do it? Would you wait till the end of the day to eat the thing that is slimy and gross and yucky, or would you do it first thing in the morning so you could enjoy the rest of the day? And so the idea behind Eat the frog is do the most important, hardest, most difficult tasks first thing in the morning. Do it before you get into the day and you have to lead other people. Do it before the chaos ensues inside of your entrepreneurial business. Do it before you get a flat tire.
Speaker 1:Do the thing that are going to move the needle across your faith, fitness, family and finances first thing in the morning and do it to smile on your face, because that's going to set the tone for the rest of the day. That's a great way, aaron, to stack victories. It's a great way, men. Nobody negotiates with you more than you. And if you don't do the hard thing, the things that mean the most.
Speaker 1:First thing in the morning, you'll negotiate with yourself of, oh, there's a better time for this, all day long, and then you'll get to the end of the day and realize you never did it and I'll do it tomorrow. And tomorrow turns into next month, turns into 10 years from now, and you'll look back decades from now with regret on what you didn't do. Yes, get up, make your bed, if that's a thing for you. Do a cold plunge, take a cold shower, do pushups, move yourself, get out and go for a run, get in, get in the word, read a book, you know. Lean on somebody else's wisdom and counsel, connect with your wife, get get in touch with your children.
Speaker 1:The average American child gets 27 seconds of their parents presence a day. So shocking 27 seconds? Why? Because if I'm in proximity to you, aaron, and I'm not saying you are a child, if you were my son, I'm in proximity with you, but I'm on my device hearing about your day, not really caring, not giving you my presence. That's so device down, eye to eye, belly to belly, giving you the best parts of myself. The average child gets 27 seconds and we wonder what's wrong with our kids today? It comes down to this not being intentional with your time, not being strategic with making connection and presence an actual priority in your life. You've got to do it, otherwise there's no one to blame. Why you're having to retro parent your child in their twenties, thirties and forties? Because you've been missing the mark every day since then.
Speaker 2:So good, so good. All right, I want to give you guys something tactical. This is a. This is an action I do every single day. I call it my core four. Single day. I call it my core four.
Speaker 2:So four daily actions that I do before I hit the door, typically before 8 am, but I do something for each of my four domains. So faith, fitness, family and finances. For faith, spend time scripture reading, meditating, and that is 15 minute block at minimum, but I do that first thing in the morning. Then fitness some type of something hard ice bath, breath work, light stretching. Then I go into my family. Finances Family is typically going to be some type of gratitude, reflection of my heart, who I need to focus on today. Leadership conversation I need to have, but some type of reflections I'm writing and reviewing. And then the finances I'm looking at my top priorities for the day. I'm looking at what actually moves the needle, so reviewing my schedule, moving things around where necessary, but knowing where my focus is going to be spent. Faith, fitness, family, finances. Core four four daily things I do every single morning. That allows me to really conquer my day.
Speaker 1:I love that. That again is life-changing. Guys, if you'll commit to doing what Aaron just talked about for the next 30 days, see what shifts in your life. Your priorities will shift. The things that you thought are important are not nearly as important as you thought that they were. Your relationship with your spouse, your significant other, will go through the roof. The respect that you will feel from the people that follow you your wife, your children, your people in the marketplace will significantly shift, feeling like overnight, If you'll commit to those four things for 30 days.
Speaker 2:Love that, love that, guys. If you do commit to those four things for 30 days, love that, love that, guys. If you do commit to those four things for the next 30 days, drop us a note. Let us know how your life changes and shifts. Shoot me or Josh a DM. We'd love to hear about the success inside of your relationship and your, the rest of your domains, and it's really.
Speaker 2:Is that simple to master your schedule? It's not complicated. We gave you an entire breakdown Plan your most important things at the beginning of the week. So your rocks something for faith, fitness, family finances put that into the schedule first, then all your other stuff. These are your pebbles, your meetings, stuff you have to do for work, time to travel, et cetera, and then the room that's left over. That's the sand. That's your Netflix, that's your binging, social media scrolling, maybe video games, whatever it is, but that's your sand throughout the week.
Speaker 2:Put your rocks in first. Then take time to plan your schedule for the next day. The night before review it, take time to actually look down. Okay, what am I? What do I need to get done? Who do I need to be? How do I need to show up? What are the most important missions to accomplish throughout the day and then have some type of morning practice like a core four. Do your daily time and devotion dedication, set an alarm and actually wake up to it. Don't hit the snooze button and then follow through with the man you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1:I love that. So powerful, so powerful, especially on the alarm piece. For the guys out there that have five alarms, 10 alarms, go down to one alarm and see if you can take yourself seriously. Set one alarm and trust yourself. You can take yourself seriously. Set one alarm and trust yourself to get up.
Speaker 2:It's the first promise you make to yourself. You start breaking that. You're going to break every other promise That'll preach. It's true, it's deep. I like it. Think about that. And it's a promise you make to yourself the night before. Like I'm going to get up tomorrow morning at 4.15 and do this core four thing that Josh and I talk about, and he hits snooze 17 times. You think you're actually going to conquer the day and be confident as you take on new challenges. No, you're going to keep taking hits between the leg and then it'd be a slop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're willing to snooze on yourself, you can't expect anyone else to take you seriously.
Speaker 2:Ooh, we're going to mic drop right there. That's it. That's good, as always, guys, if you enjoyed this episode, leave us a five-star review like share, subscribe and tag another man on the mission to becoming a high value man. And, as always, much love, many blessings. Talk to you soon. Boom you off the podcast. Get back to the fucking mental lab.