The High Value Man Conversation
The High Value Man gets what he wants from WOMEN, WORK AND THE WORLD OF MEN. He's confident, charismatic, creative and collaborative and it all begins with High Value Conversations. Have a listen to this weeks High Value Conversation.
Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
Turning Life’s Setbacks into Triumphs: A Father’s Guide to Balance
What happens when life flips your well-laid plans upside down? Join us as we recount an unforgettable experience—the birth of my son—that turned a planned serene at-home birth into a nerve-wracking emergency hospital delivery. Amid sleep deprivation, disrupted fitness routines, and the overwhelming new responsibilities of fatherhood, we explore how quickly life can shift and challenge our resilience. We share practical tactics to regain control, even when minor distractions, like binge-watching TV shows, start to creep in and derail your progress.
Finding direction amid the chaos is crucial, and that’s where vision and values come into play. We delve into the importance of having a clear vision for key areas of life: faith, fitness, family, and finances. By acting on intuitive nudges and making decisive moves, you can stay aligned with your goals and avoid long-term derailment. Through disciplined routines and conscious competence, you can ensure consistency and turn fleeting victories into lasting success.
Finally, we bring home the power of consequences and accountability. By understanding the impact of our decisions, not just on ourselves but also on our families and communities, we can reclaim our authority and lead a more aligned life. We talk about the importance of having a supportive tribe for honest feedback and encouragement, as well as new guidelines for maintaining meaningful connections and personal growth. From limiting TV episodes to fostering intimate conversations, we offer actionable strategies to build momentum and achieve a balanced, fulfilling life. Tune in as we explore the six V’s framework—Vision, Values, Victories, Vices, Voice, and Vocation—that guides every high-value man toward true fulfillment.
===> Join the weekly newsletter and get your free copy of 5 Steps to Becoming a High Value Man
This is the High Value man Conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is if not you, then who? Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation. This is episode. Great question. Oh, great question, so perfect segue. Actually, this is the episode on getting back on track.
Speaker 1:If you've gotten off track, I think 17. Yeah, 17 numbers aren't as important, but the purpose of this episode and kind of the topic that we're talking about is getting back on track if you've ever gotten off track, because we've all gotten off track in some degree. When you get off track, planning and just being prepared for the fact that you can't stay in powerful, positive momentum all the time, there has to be seasons for rest and recovery. But also life happens, and I know you had a lot of life happen pretty recently, it's been pretty wild yeah and so.
Speaker 1:so what we're going to walk through is exactly how to get back on track. If your fitness, your nutrition, your mindset, your vision, your goals, your finances, your businesses get off track because you take your eyes off the goal or you just get sidelined with a little bit of life, so why don't you give everyone a little bit of life update on what's going on with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, everyone, a little bit of life update on what's going on with you. Yeah, so a little over a week and a half ago, almost two weeks ago, my son came into this world, and not the way that we had planned. So, my wife, our plan was to have a natural at-home. We'll call it granola birth, granola, granola, granola birth, crunchy, crunchy. And so, after laboring for 40 hours, my son got stuck in the outlet. So we ended up at the hospital and had to have him removed physically. So my wife got cut. And long story long is that my wife and Bodhi, my son, are both healthy. He's huge. He's just under 10 pounds.
Speaker 2:He was born just under 10 pounds Just under 10 pounds and 22 inches long, so he was big and long.
Speaker 2:Yeah 10 pounds and 22 inches long. So he was big and long, yeah, um, in the top 99% for his length and top 97% for his weight. So, um, high likelihood he's going to be a big boy. Yeah, I love that. But came home and since then, my schedule, our schedule, flow, how we do life completely rocked, completely rocked. Lack of sleep, um, somewhere in the neighborhood of maybe three hours a night, collectively, at 45 to 60 minutes at a point. But it's been difficult. It's been really difficult. I've been out of my study, I've been out of my cold plunges every morning Didn't work out for almost a week because we were at the hospital. So lots of shifts and you come home and try to get back on track and it was difficult at the hospital.
Speaker 1:So lots of shifts and you come home and try to get back on track and it was difficult and I know that I didn't go through a, a birth. But I am also experienced this season where I'm like I got to get a little bit more dialed in and for me the, the back on track, looks like the discipline morning, waking up at three, 45, four o'clock in the morning, um, but having some late nights. Recently the training in jujitsu has been a little bit more challenging or it's just either the competitors are getting more challenging or I'm just putting a little bit more effort, but I'm feeling like really sore. So I told Josh, as we were getting warmed up for this episode, that I've indulged recently in something I don't normally do, especially during the week. But I turned on the Netflix and actually it's on Amazon prime Um, and I'm enjoying a nerd season.
Speaker 1:I'm watching the Lord of the Rings, rings of Power. It's really really good show for any of the nerds out there and it's been like one episode and it goes into two episodes and then my normal nine o'clock bedtime. It's like 11 o'clock and I wake up a little more fatigued, exhausted. I'm not putting the effort in the morning and I'm just feeling that man. I got to get back on track. I got to get back disciplined and dialed in and protect that evening and that morning routine, cause I know how much more effective I am throughout the day and I'm not really getting any major benefit other than just like distracting, watching, watching the TV which, which can be necessary to a point, sure, can be necessary to a point, but again, being just being aware of what you want in your life and how quickly distractions can come in, totally yeah.
Speaker 2:And so, even even for for folks out there that like to binge watch or watch TV at night there's, I have nothing against that, but I would say, if you want to get, back on track when you crawl into bed as soon as you turn your show on. Go ahead and hit your sleep timer. That's good 30 minutes or 45 minutes an hour. Whatever you decide is for you. So your TV is now locked in, it'll just turn itself off.
Speaker 1:I love that I am just jotting down a new rule. We're going to talk about some of the rules to put in place If you do happen to get on track, so you don't completely burn the bridges on everything that you've set up and build and I think that's one of the powerful principles is have some rules in place for yourself. But I just jotted down no more than than two episodes consecutively, that'll be.
Speaker 1:That'll be one of my new uh, one hour episodes these are these one hour episodes yeah, we'll see how that works out for you, yeah yeah, yeah, but even like the 30 minute ones, you watch two, three, and then you're like, oh my, I can't just lost like two and a half hours of my life. Yeah, yeah, it's good though, so key us up, brother yeah.
Speaker 2:So what we're talking, guys, is life happens to all of us. There's always going to be circumstances that are unforeseen. What we're working on, things that are important to us, are not always going to be easy. Tread water, flat lakes, storms are going to arise, currents are going to shift, the wind's going to shift, and you have to be aware of these things as they happen. And so our overarching message today is about course correction being highly aware of your vision and your values and to be focused on those so that, when life happens, you can course correct back to them faster. The quicker you can get back on track, the easier it is long-term. So, getting back on track and Aaron and I were kicking this around a little earlier about how quickly he gets back on track His marker is about 48 hours. We'll talk more about that here a little bit, but he doesn't get off track in any area of his life for more than 48 hours because he's very aware of what he's doing, what his intentions are and sticking those out. So it's a great marker for all of us, because you get a week down the road. God forbid two weeks or a month down the road. Six months, it's a lot harder. You're basically starting from scratch. At that point You're having to recreate those habits that you've already had in place.
Speaker 2:So course correction and getting back on track With your vision and your values is our overarching message today, and so I know this will hit home for everybody, because life does happen to us, and so it. The way to do this well is to understand that you have to be focused on who you are and not what you do. So that's why we talk about visions and values. So much is that if you have those in place, you know who you are and who you're going to become. You're going to be more focused on that than the what you do throughout the day. What you do is just a by-product of the who you are Right. So if the what you're doing isn't working out, you've got to stop and evaluate the who you are.
Speaker 1:That's good, that's good. And so the step one is vision. So you'd know you're off track. First and foremost, if you're like man, I don't know if I'm off track. Well, if you're not moving towards your vision, you're off track. And so that's step number one. It's our core principle inside of the high value man accelerator is know where you're going. Have a clear picture of what the next two years, five years, 10 years looks like for your life.
Speaker 1:A man without a vision is creating pain and problems for everyone around him. Biblically, those without vision, people perish. A man without vision, people perish. And so you know that you need vision. Step one, that is step one for everything. You need a vision for your faith, your fitness, your family and your finances. Vision gives you direction. So quick little check-in of whether or not you're on track. Off track is are you making progress on your vision? And that's that's really the step one. And then you'll hear this we were talking about this before Is that kind of nudge inside I should work out right now? That's, that's your intuition, that's your vision, that's the life that you say that you want, reminding you of the thing that you should be doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the quickest way to get back on track is how much time it takes from that thought to the action.
Speaker 1:To the action Right.
Speaker 2:So if it's an hour, you're doing pretty good. If it's two weeks or you take action on that every January 1st you need to really get in and start asking yourself what is it that I truly want? Because if you honestly wanted it, you'd see it through Amazing. Think back to any relationship you've ever been in with a woman, whether you're single or you're married. When you wanted a woman, you went and you got her right. You did everything that you needed to got your focus, your attention your effort and you made it happen.
Speaker 2:The same thing happens on our day-to-day with what we want in our life our faith, family, fitness, finance. So there's things in your life that you truly desire. Your action will tell the rest of us how important it actually is to you.
Speaker 1:So good. I love that. So vision values those are core principles that we teach inside of the HVM, those you have to be on track. The thing about the values too this kind of goes into the 48 hour rules is deciding and defining what your core values are. Otherwise, we end up defaulting If you don't have core values in place.
Speaker 1:It's so easy for that one bad meal, that one day where you skip the workouts, the one episode, to end up into an entire season, that you're sitting on the couch being a fat kid and just watching all of it and the next thing you know you are not just 24 hours, 40 hours, off track, but your entire season, your quarter, a month, multiple months, and so having values in place that are attached to your vision and your identity so that you can quickly make those decisions. So you know what I'm, the type of guy. I'm willing to have one bad meal, skip a workout, but I don't let it go beyond two, and so those are some of the values I put in place in regards to my discipline is that 48 hours is really my window to get off track. Two bad meals don't do them back to back.
Speaker 1:One bad meal okay, cool, I'm just not going to have the next bad meal. I'm going to do the next right thing. I'll skip one workout if necessary, but I won't skip two. There's always time to drop down. Do 10 burpees if necessary, and if that's what you need to do in the season, like that's it. You crush a 10-minute hard workout. Move your body.
Speaker 2:Then you're at least letting your identity, yourself and your values know that this is important and I'm not going to do it multiple times in a row. I love that. Aaron, what you're talking about right now is the difference between conscious incompetence and conscious competence. So even if you're going to choose to say, over Thanksgiving, I'm going to have these meals with my family, you're choosing conscious incompetence. This doesn't align with what you want in your life, but by choosing that, by being aware of it, it also gives the opportunity to choose conscious competence. Maybe the day afterwards, go for a run instead of having the same meal over and over again, spending two weeks off track over Thanksgiving or Christmas or spring break or whatever it may be for you, and that's just a big. That's a big awareness that most of us men don't grasp onto. Is you have an unconscious incompetence happening or a conscious incompetence happening? You've got to make the choice to get back on track through conscious competence.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that Because this will relate to a lot of the fathers. What are some things that you've done in the last week to get back on track, dialed in with your fitness, your vision, work stuff, all?
Speaker 2:that. My quickest answer is immediate. That comes up is my schedule. So I'm historically an up at 430 guy, and I is my schedule. So I'm historically an up at 4, 4, 30 guy. Um, and I've got my study in place. I'm reading the Bible, I'm reading some sort of book, and then I'm also doing my cold plunge, and that's typically my 4, 30 to about 6 45 AM routine, seven days a week.
Speaker 2:That was throwing the garbage two weeks ago, and so the decision that I made, actually, leading up to our men of light, we get together every Friday as a group, a group of guys doing a Bible, doing a book study, and so it was the going to bed Wednesday before. So I want to give myself some runway practice on a Thursday. Is that I said, regardless of how much sleep I'm going to get, because I was getting about two and a half to maybe three and a half collectively overnight with my sons feeding and taking care of my wife I said, regardless of how much sleep I'm going to get, I'm getting up at five, and I did that on Thursday, and so that gave me practice. Then on Friday, I set my alarm for 4.15, like it usually is, and I got up at 4.15. And so I was at that point. I was getting three hours of sleep a night.
Speaker 2:But I just decided, regardless of how much sleep I get, I am getting back on my schedule. That's good and that's where it had to start. So from there, I've gotten back into my study, even though it's been a lot shorter. I've gotten back to my cold plunges, even though it's gotten a little hairy, whether it's right after my study or after caring for my wife and son, or whatever it be, I'm still doing it. So that was my biggest decision is regardless of how much rest I'm getting, I'm going to choose my schedule. Love that Cause. That's. That's how I start every day. That sets the tone and temperature for the day. And I've got. I've got to get back on track, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you picked a day, I picked a day, you picked a day you decided, you went all in and you said no matter what, I'm just going to of being tired, I'm just much more sharp, I'm much. I'm much better with my own decisions, choosing what I'm doing with my time versus waking up at nine o'clock in the morning, cause I just squeezed in four hours and then going about my day and it just didn't work out for me.
Speaker 1:Right. So I think also you know on that, when you know you should be doing something but you choose to take comfort or sleep or the rest or whatever, it's just going to like ache on you right, it's just, it's just going to nag on you that man, there's this thing I should have been doing and now you have an internal battle and an external battle. You've got the external battle throughout the day of battling, fatigue, your business, you're raising a son and being a husband and a father and all that. So you have the external battle. It's always gonna happen. You're always gonna have the external battle.
Speaker 1:But what makes the external battle so much worse is when you're also having an internal battle. That internal battle is I said I was gonna do something, but I didn't follow through because I wanted to sleep a little bit more. I'd rather go into the battle, the external with, like, I'm in full alignment and agreement with who I say I am and my identity. That way I'm not facing a battle or a war with a divided front. I'm internally congruent. And so just know that there's going to be days you're going to be tired, you're going to be exhausted, sometimes like, yes, you need to take a little bit extra sleep and prioritize. You know whatever's in front of you and make that the thing that you're focused on. However, if you're facing an internal battle on top of an external, it makes everything 10 times worse, and so the purpose of getting back on track is realizing whatever you said you're going to do. The first promise that you need to honor is a promise you make to yourself, because that's the guy that's going to get everything else done.
Speaker 2:That's so good. I love that, and it brings up something I say to myself. I've been saying this to myself for probably three years or so. Whether it's me laying on the floor after a workout feeling like my body is quitting me, or feeling exhausted in bed because I didn't get enough sleep is I'll literally tell myself I'm just over here feeling sorry for myself, and that's a great reminder of this is a circumstance that I have a choice to choose. My body is fine, regardless of how much sleep I've got. I can function. I know I can do it. There are tougher men out there that do way more with less sleep than me, and so when I tell myself, man, I'm just over here feeling sorry for myself, it happens to be the one phrase that helps me kick my own tail in gear and get up and get going, and so you may have a phrase for yourself in the midst of a moment.
Speaker 2:just go listen, I'm just over here feeling sorry for myself and get up off the floor, wipe the sweat off your brow and get moving again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I bring David Goggins to that. He's one of my mentors in this season. I just picture how he uh, he speaks very openly, honestly, to uh, his inner bitch, and so that voice pops in my head. I was like, all right, yeah, I'm just, I'm just sucking it up, buttercup, and I'm going to get through this. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2:So what we're talking about today is is that there's a consequence attached to every decision we make, and so the more aware you can be of the decisions you make, the more power you give yourself. You're taking back the authority in your life, versus a default way of thinking of. This is just what's happening. I'm just not getting sleep because my son's here. I'm just not finishing my workouts because I'm out of shape. No, there's a consequence attached to it. I will see it through. So just realizing that life for all of us is not lived on an island. Every decision you make not only affects you, but affects your entire sphere marriage, your children, your family, your finances, your, your health, and to take back the authority that you have as a man, because everything in your life requires structure that comes from you. It's good. If you're unwilling to create that structure, you're also allowing in destruction.
Speaker 2:Yes so seeing it that way, approaching it that way and getting yourself back on track by owning the consequences attached to your decision.
Speaker 1:I love that. Yeah, there's something. One of my mentors shared this quote with me a number of years ago. But if you slip, they fall. And so if you're in a leadership role, your slip, your excuses, become someone else's way out. And so if you are the tip of the spear inside your household husband and father and you decide to be out of integrity with the things that you should be doing, you're not living in alignment with your morning routine, your vision, you're skipping workouts, you're eating like a garbage can and you're just not being the guy that you know you should. You're setting the example for them to fall and you're setting example for them to make excuses for their own life. And so every time you you look at the things that you know you should be doing and you're not doing, look at it from a greater lens, not necessarily just from like your own, like feelings of how you're feeling in the moment, but also the impact that you are creating by by doing the thing.
Speaker 2:For sure For everyone in your draft, and I think about children specifically. Obviously I'm this. I'm in this season of new fatherhood. I've got a five-year-old little girl, but I've now got a newborn little boy, and talking about what you just brought up is every time you slip, you allow them to fall. I even think about another phrase in my head of anything that we choose to do in moderation, our children will do in excess. So not to allow even the moderations in our life to take hold, because whether it's drinking, watching sports which can be a huge distraction, right, how you spend your time, et cetera, if you're doing things in moderation, your children are watching. They will do it in excess.
Speaker 1:So good. That's such a powerful reminder, love that, okay. So we've got um, the, the. The reason why a that you need to check in on whether or not you're on track, off track, dialed in with your vision and recalibrate. I think one tool that Josh and I both use that is so powerful is we've got a tribe of men that will check in on us, and so it's seldom that we can go probably 24 hours without having some type of fellowship, relationship, conversation with a guy that's also moving forward with their vision, living by core values, is doing a simple check-in like hey, how are you doing in this domain? We've got enough of a relationship that you can ask me the hard questions hey, how is this, how is this, how is this? I can check in on you, and so just having a tribe around you is such a good calibration point to let you know if you are off track, to very quickly get back on track but also have the support that I think so many guys struggle with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think guys might be afraid of this. In complete honesty, there's an intimacy that's required of it. There's a authenticity that comes from you when you ask questions that I think are just caring is. I'm not asking questions to be intrusive or to manage you. I'm asking questions because I truly care about you and we've built enough relationship that I can freely care about you in that way.
Speaker 2:We just had that conversation 10 minutes before this podcast, just a check-in in an area of your life of how are you dealing with these things, how are you working through some of these things, and we're able to have a really in-depth conversation about that.
Speaker 2:And again, that's something that we as men need on a daily basis. I'm grateful to say that I have five men. I've dozens of great men in my life, but there are five men that I literally talk to every single day and they're not work-related, business-related, they're really our relationship type, conversations of just something, a habit that we do every single day, and so those questions come up frequently and what that does is that helps me when I, as soon as I get off track, I'll get asked some sort of question by one or two of them that brings my awareness back up allows me to be transparent with what I'm walking through, and they'll give me the swift kick in my tail of this is not who you are. You need to get back on track. I know your schedule. This is what you do, so you need to start doing it today and without men in our lives as anvils. Then we're sitting here trying to white knuckle things and guys, I'll tell you you're not as good as you think you are.
Speaker 2:You're just not. You're not that strong, You're not that smart.
Speaker 1:And everyone around you knows it.
Speaker 2:Everyone around you. Yeah, yeah, you're a horrible poker player. We can see right through your face, and so by having men in our lives that we can have conversations, your relationship with they, will actually help bring the best parts out of us, even in the midst of our own circumstance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so good, so all right. So I want to run through. I kind of skimmed over this, but the rules, the rules of my life that work well, is that the two day or, I'm sorry, the kind of the rule of two one is I don't skip more than two workouts, so I'm willing to skip one if, if life just comes up or I'm fatigued, exhausted or just whatever it is. So that's A how I stay on track with something that I know works. The basics work for everybody. That's why they're the basics, and so fitness is a basic for every single man.
Speaker 1:You have to have a foundation of some type of consistent exercise to be able to first manage your own stress, manage your mindset, but put your body in a state and an energetic state where you can take on more domains in life. And so one of my rules is I don't miss more than two workouts, and so that can be two days in a row. I can skip one day, take a full 24 hours, but I'm doing some type of movement with intentionality the next day. The other one is two bad meals, so I'll enjoy, I will totally indulge in one meal and that's like sitting down and all the way through multiple desserts if necessary, but that is my one bad meal. I don't do that back to back, so you won't see me having a really bad dinner and then a bad breakfast. I will do something in between to break that up.
Speaker 1:And the reason being is I know that two leads to three and three leads into months, and that's just how it is. It's just how it is. So if I skip those two things, I break those rules. I already know that I'm spiraling in another direction. The new rule that is put in place is no more than two episodes in any type of yeah, any type of a show. I think that's just a good rule to put in place. And then the isolation is one that in the past that I've done, I think. Based on my current schedule, it just doesn't happen. So I can't think of a 48-hour window when I haven't had some type of meaningful relationship in it, where there's some man that I'm having a connection, conversation or coaching with, and so I think that's a good rule of thumb for most men that you can adopt is don't go more than two days without having some type of intimate conversation with another guy.
Speaker 2:I love that and for some for for you and me we were down the road a little bit that can be a call text with one of our friends, one of our close confidants within our sphere.
Speaker 2:For some of you men who are just now getting working on that, that could be jumping into the HVM community and be jumping in, throwing in a comment, responding to someone else's comments, doing something, intentionally involved in an engagement with another man on some level. So just be aware of that, and also just just for the guys out there, my wife's a doctor and way smarter than me, that's. That's just an easy one to come across. But through my relationship with with Dr Britt, I've come to learn that there's so much power in the verbiage that we use and we're not really aware of the words that we're using. So I I preface that long story by giving uh, what you're doing with your 48 hours, with with not going more than one day, uh off off track, is what we'll talk about.
Speaker 2:What we'll say is that for a lot of us I hear lots of guys talk about their cheat meals or the cheat days and the high value man doesn't cheat. Just period in life we don't cheat. So realize that if they you're using that verbiage of cheat meal or cheat day, scratch that from the record completely. I've replaced that. So when I take a day where I'm eating something or I'm away or I'm taking, I call it a leisure day, a leisure meal, a leisure day. If it's my rest day on sunday, it's um, I'm taking a leisure day for my working out, whatever it may be, but you got to be very aware of the verbiage that we use and you didn't use that. But there's lots of men out there that use the word cheat, whether it's a meal or a day off or something.
Speaker 2:be aware of your verbiage and be willing to change that, and leisure is a great way to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, love that.
Speaker 2:Life happened to us and how we respond to it and not react to it. And I love, I love your two, your two day, your 48 hour line in the sand, cause if you've drawn that, you're not going to cross it. Well, let's talk about the hows, some of the hows that we can do, that we can put into place to make sure that, not if, but when we get off track, that we can become aware of it and get back to our visions and our values. And so the number one that I hope you've taken from this is you've got to know your vision and your values. You have got to take the time to sit down, map these things out, because you can tell me all day that your fitness is a value, but it never occurs on your schedule. You're lying to yourself and you're lying to me, and we all know it.
Speaker 2:So, being aware of what you truly want to value in your life and, at the same time, is we have vices. Another thing that we teach in HVM is that, just as much as your values are going to be a sin of your life, you have a flavor.
Speaker 2:You have a flavor, and your vices will show up in those flavors. Temptation always comes in attractive packages, and so being aware of what vices are distracting you, getting you off track, keeping you from doing and taking the action that you know that you need to take, and want to take to get down the road, and so we've got to be aware of your positives and your negatives. Your positives are your visions, your negatives are your vices, and without an awareness of those, your action will continue to be defaults.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that, so getting clarity. So this is, this is the process, and this is a shameless plug to what we do inside of HVM. But we take you guys through the six V's. Step one is vision. Step two is value. Step three is the victories that you need to stack to make your vision become easy and automatic.
Speaker 1:Step four is vices being aware that there's always going to be something that comes up drinking, drugs, masturbation, porn. Those are the surface level ones that you're probably aware of, and those are ones we work on. But it's underneath the surface. What hole are you trying to fill? That is a deep distraction that shows up as procrastination, anger, frustration, irritation, whatever it is. So there's typically always more of a feeling attached to the reason why we fill with a void of advice, and then we've got the voice and the vocation.
Speaker 1:But that path and process we guide you guys through it's it goes down into a principle process that you've got a vision to reference. Like, if you don't know where you're going, anywhere is going to be fine, and so it makes sense that you're frustrated. If you don't have clear, defined values, you're going to default to comfort and convenience, and that's how most men live. If you're not stacking consistent victories that build your confidence and your competence, you have no self-belief, and so you don't take on greater challenges in life, and so you just end up being run by vices. And so the formula is there.
Speaker 1:It's been, it's been working. We know that it works. But it all goes back to having clarity of vision, knowing who you are, what you want, and then creating and designing the time in your schedule throughout it, so that I love how you segued into the how of this. The how is very simple, as one know where you are, surround yourself with other men that have similar values, start stacking consistent victories and then create some rules in place to where, knowing you're going to get off track, that you don't stay off track. Gotta have it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's. It can seem complex, men, but it's not. It's not. It's something that we've produced in hvm. It's something that hundreds of men now get to live in because they've taken the time to do the work to become aware of these things. They've gotten coached through the hard moments and the hard circumstances and now their life is actually going the direction that they want to go. You can look at any great stock in the world. We'll just pick one like Amazon, and if you were to take Amazon and look over the last 10 years, you would see almost a straight line going from a lower level to a very, very much higher level in its overall value. But if you were to zoom in to a weekly type basis, you'll see dips and our life looks the same way. We want our life to go up and be consistent, and you can be a 10-year overnight success, but you're going to have to be okay with that.
Speaker 2:You're not going to go from a $0 to a billion dollar entity overnight. It does take time, but realize that there's going to become dips along the way, and all those dips represent in our life is when we've gotten off track. You've got to be aware of these V's. You've got to be aware of that you need coaching, that you need other men around you. You've got to have a tribe. You've also got to have a coach to get down the road to increase your value. So those are huge hows. If you truly want to go from where you are to where you say you wanna be, these are things you've got to have in your life. And if you're gonna choose not to have them in your life, then you're just gonna choose to take another lap. We'll see you in a year when you take yourself seriously.
Speaker 1:Ooh, so good, great segue. So one of the things that Josh and I have been talking about too is that we just we love helping and serving men and we realize not everybody may be ready to make the financial investment into the HVM coaching or one-on-one coaching and mentorship, anything like that, although it'd be the best investment we ever make. That being said, we have a ton of value. We want to start creating some wins in your life, and so we created a free community, high value man, free community, and we'd love to invite you to join us. It is absolutely free. You're going to get exposure to the six V principles and process. You're going to get Josh's 10 relationship teaching points like from a high level, how to master your relationship, communication, conflict resolution, overall self-integrity so you can have the relationship of your dreams, and that's that family domain. We've got a fitness domain in there to teach you the principles of burning fat, building muscle, understanding and mastering your macros, and a ton of other free content, cause our mission is to build better men and we realize if you just get a taste and a flavor of what we're doing, high level you're going to bite the bullet. You're going to bite the bullet and join us on on on the tribe and get the real results.
Speaker 1:We know we got to at least give some value. So we got this free community we're just kicking off and all I got to do is, somewhere around on the video, click the link and join the tribe, answer a couple of questions. The biggest ask is once you come inside the community is don't be a wallflower Like, don't be one of those knuckleheads is just constantly consuming content. But take action, engage, build a relationship with other men and you'll see that the formula is very simple to follow. Maybe not always easy, but it's simple to follow to create predictable results. But the biggest benefit is a tribe. It is, it's the biggest benefit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and for most of you men out there, let's make this the one thing you don't have to talk to your wife about. Why don't you just go do it?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's free. It's free, which is insane my opinion. At the same time, I know that lots of men's lives are going to be changed as soon as you want to take action to it. So it's a piece of fruit dangling in front of your face. Go and grab it. Go and take it. It's Again just wrapping up on some of the hows to have the life that you want to have when you've gotten off track is going back to the basics. Going back to the basics, you have to have a foundation that you fall on when you fall.
Speaker 2:Otherwise if it's not there, you'll just continue to fall. And so, understanding that the basics in your life are those visions, are those values are falling back on, how do I get back on track to stacking my victories? Are those values are falling back on? How do I get back on track to stacking my victories? How do I create momentum in my life again so that my stock goes, starts going back up again, it doesn't continue to fall off? And so understand, men, that the rarest masculine quality is matt, is consistency. The rarest masculine quality is consistency. And it pains me to say that because men are designed to create structure, to create safety protection provision. Say that because men are designed to create structure, to create safety protection provision. These are things we are made to bring into our life. The door that that hinges on is our consistency. So you've got to make the decision once and spend every day of your life managing that decision that creates consistency. So your basics should be falling back on your own consistency.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love secondly, the quickest way to get to where you want to go is slowly. If you think that you can make a decision today and your wife will respect you tomorrow, or the men around you will want to hear your voice tomorrow, you've lost your mind. You've got to make the decision now. Get in with this group, start doing the little things and over time, through your own consistency, you'll get to where you want to go. So the quickest way to get to where you're going to go is slowly. Just come into an agreement with yourself that you can be the 10 year overnight success. I love that. Nobody wants to bite that off. But in 10 years your life can look completely different.
Speaker 1:It's going to look one way or the other.
Speaker 1:It will, yeah, and I just want to. On the consistency piece. I think when we get off track, this is why the New Year's resolutions always end up failing. It's this intense output for a short amount of time. I'm going to stop drinking, I'm going to stop eating sugar. I'm going to work out six times throughout the week and I'm going to stop eating sugar. I'm going to work out six times throughout the week and I'm going to have date night episode.
Speaker 1:So you create these intense goals, which is not sustainable, right, and so you have a massive burnout. Life's not about the intensity, is 100% about the consistency. So, being able to do the basics, the simple things. Have a clear vision for your life, two years, five years, 10 years. In the next week, in the next 24 hours, have core values you can lean into. Stack small, consistent victories. Make your bed, break a sweat every single day, track the food that goes in your pie hole, spend time with other men. Those are small, consistent victories that you can hit every single day and that's where you build the momentum for a life that you really want.
Speaker 2:You've got to have it. You've got to have it, and I understand it. I know that something that was shared today hit you in the gut and I hope it did. I hope it hurts because the more painful it can be for you, the more, the more likely you are to take action on it.
Speaker 2:Let's go so let it be painful. And then also the last how is immediate action? The longer you dwell on be, the more you are likely to talk yourself out of it. So if something hits you in the gut, pull over right now. Click off, click off your computer, click off the page and go. Either join HVM, call a man, go, work out, do what you need to do, take action right now. By taking immediate action, you have a higher probability of getting back on track.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that Immediate action guys. So click the link somewhere in the description or around the video. Join us in the High Value man free community. Get access to the 6V Formula, josh's Relationship Mastery Course, fitness Basics everything you need but, more so than anything, get access to a tribe of men that are on path on purpose to becoming the examples that lead in their faith, fitness, family and finances. We'll see you on the other side, boom.