The High Value Man Conversation
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Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
Want Respect from Your Circle? Forge Your Inner Strength with These Steps
In a world where men are encouraged to go it alone, the reality is that every man needs a sharpened edge—and a powerful brotherhood to keep it that way. Today, too many men are walking through life without close friends, losing their sense of purpose, power, and even happiness. The truth? Iron sharpens iron, and without a strong circle, even the sharpest blade goes dull.
In this episode, Josh and Erin break down what it means to forge yourself into a strong, resilient man with a purpose. They dive deep into the power of environment, the importance of choosing the right values, and why it’s essential to surround yourself with other men who challenge you to be better.
You’ll learn the steps to "sharpen your blade" by building meaningful connections and elevating yourself in the process.
If you're ready to stop drifting, start growing, and become a man of real impact, this episode will give you the tools to get there.
Join us in exploring how to cut through the noise, refine yourself, and live with intention.
And join the HVM community for Free!
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What we talk about in this sphere, in this room, are not easy topics. They're always going to challenge you. They're likely going to punch you in the gut and expose something in your life that you have either didn't know they were there or you've been just allowing to exist.
Speaker 2:The beauty of an environment is it allows you to see the sharpness of your blade, maybe even like the steel that you selected, your core values, in comparison to other men that are operating at their potential and cutting through their problems and you know, being the tool that they're designed to be. And so the environment exposes you, first and foremost, that there might be a gap in what you're currently building, and allows you to level up and follow in line with what the other guys are doing. Sharpen your blade. Why men need to have an edge. Talking about the forging process, of how you truly build your blade as a man so you can cut through the bs, stand out, be the be the type of man that can be relied on as a powerful, powerful, penetrating tool. And why you need to sharpen your blade and how. Most importantly, how to sharpen your blade as a man.
Speaker 2:This is the high value man conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you, then who? Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation. This is episode 28. Sharpen your blade. Why men need to have an edge and I've got a hand crafted, hand forge piece of art, but it is a sharp blade and we're talking about the forging process, of how you truly build your blade as a man so you can cut through the BS, stand out, be the type of man that can be relied on as a powerful, powerful, penetrating tool, and why you need to sharpen your blade and how, most importantly, how to sharpen your blade as a man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't be a stick.
Speaker 1:Don't be a stick, not when you have the ability to be a sharp blade. Yeah, yeah. So, aaron, to kick this off, it really comes down to we live in a world unfortunately, that is not 1,500, 2,000 years ago where men were made to be men. So in the world we live in, our society has molded men into becoming very tolerable for whatever society says. There are different standards. There's a lot of ability for a man just to exist. There are different standards. There's a lot of ability for a man just to exist, to not have a voice, or not to.
Speaker 1:Every man has thoughts, but not to share those thoughts. Have a voice, be intentional about who he wants to become, be very effective, masculine man. We see decisions that are made by women. We look at the general marketing data that says that 80% of household items and purchases are made by a woman. I'm not saying a woman's decisions and thoughts aren't important. They are. But we have men who are choosing to not be decisive. We have men who are choosing to not be actively involved in how a house is ran, how their own lives are ran, and men are losing their own polarity year after year and becoming going from the potential of a blade back to just a stick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know they touch on this and we spent a lot of episodes discussing this. But women don't want to be in that role either, not long-term, not making every single decision in the household, that is. That is the design. The design of healthy masculine feminine polarity is there to be a lead and a follow. Someone that is penetrating. Like you as a man, are biologically and spiritually designed to penetrate everything. There's a reason you've got that thing between your legs like that is built to penetrate, and if you think about that design that god did so perfectly. If you are not sharp, you can't penetrate the workplace, the marketplace, your woman, the world, anything. You're just that stick in the mud that is relatively useless, and so the topic we're talking about today is really bringing back your masculine polarity so you can lead your woman with love but also step into the marketplace as a powerful, high value man.
Speaker 1:Exactly, I love that, love that, love that. Love that Highly important. So, as far as sharpening our blades, we need to be sharp as men. We've already talked about this. We need to be refined as men. So refining even talks about who you are today. Can't be who you are down the road, as in what got you to today is not going to get you to where you want to go.
Speaker 2:It's not good enough.
Speaker 1:It's not, and you have to be intentional about what you're choosing to involve yourself in, where you're allowing your focus to go, where you're allowing your energy and your effort to go.
Speaker 1:Otherwise, you're gonna end up spending 75 years on this planet taking the same lap over and over again, and about the last 10 to 15 years of your life, your entire focus will be on the regrets that you have, all the areas you chose to be stagnant in, and it's a very painful experience to see a man on his deathbed, living, reliving his life, saying you know, thinking, these are all the areas that I sucked in, these are all the experiences I missed out on because I chose to to be static, chose not to grow.
Speaker 1:So, talking about these blades and how metal is forged and sharpened, um, the first thing I really want to hit on is, uh and we're going to go through the different areas of what, what and correlate them of how to make a very sharp blade that's effective and beautiful, of how to create that in our own lives. But we'll start first with an, with an environment. If you're listening to this podcast, you're choosing to be part of an environment. Uh, what we talk about in this, in this sphere in this room are not easy topics. They're always going to challenge you. They're likely going to punch you in the gut and hopefully have you revisit your own life philosophies in an exposed some things in your life that you have either didn't know they were there or you've been, uh, just allowing to exist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when you think about that, you know that the beauty of an environment is allows you to see the sharpness of your blade, maybe even like the steel that you selected, your core values in comparison to other men that are operating at their potential and cutting through their problems and you know, being the tool that they're designed to be. And so the environment exposes you, first and foremost, that there might be a gap in what you're currently building and allows you to level up and follow in line with what the other guys are doing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and sharpening happens when we're intentional.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So being a part of what we're doing here is, in my opinion, an intentional thought.
Speaker 1:Being a part of the Hive Amen community, we have guys all throughout the week that come together with an intentionality to grow themselves They've got to face themselves in the midst of that but also with the intentionality to grow helps us focus our attention and our effort, cause that's really the two things we can control, yeah, cause our, our, our attitude and our effort through the, through the uh, the usage of our intention.
Speaker 1:And then, once we put that math equation together with our environments, you have a lot of ability to change, not just where you are, what you're doing, but the who that you are and the who that you are, aaron, affects every area of our lives, and so let's start first with with what is a blade and blades. A piece of metal, right, when it shows up at the blacksmith, it is nothing more than a piece of steel, and so one. You're not going to make a blade out of a piece of lead or a piece of aluminum, right? So we've got to be very intentional about what metals we're putting in the fire, cause that'll be what's next, but your metal has to be a certain type of steel, and so um Steel is, or the metal, rather is, leaning on our core values.
Speaker 2:Yes. So if you guys are listening to this, your step one is to select the right type of metal that will go into the forge, the beating, the refining, the grinding process to become a proper tool. And so, when you think about this as we're applying it to the blacksmith metaphor is just as Josh said, we can't put aluminum into a forge. It just simply wouldn't withstand, it would melt under the pressure. And so, as you are thinking about the refining process of building a beautiful blade, you need to choose the right metal, which means you choose your core values, and I love how you described this before we started the episode. You're choosing based on who you want to become, not who you are currently.
Speaker 1:Exactly, unless you want to recreate who you are, and these are guys. This is, this is something I give to men when we get the opportunity to work together is is picture for yourself the ideal you 10 years from now. If everything went in your favor, who would you be? Tell me about him, what would he look like? What would he act like? Would he walk with his shoulders up? How would he speak? Tell me about his confidence. What about the clothes that he would wear? How would he dress?
Speaker 1:Tell me about his physique. How does he look? Tell me about his marriage. Is his wife crazy about him? Is everything that he does in his life he's well-respected about? Tell me about his kids. Tell me about everything that this man could be Now most important to that man, if you're able to see his life and from that you're able to pull into values that are very apparent in an ideal man's life, and so that is the potential. You 10 years down the road, and so the only thing that can hold you back from becoming that is your own attitude and effort, your attention that you give, the effort that you put in and, of course, the environments that you decide to go through that you give the effort that you put in and, of course, the environments that you decide to go through, and so that really comes down to the metals that we put in is you have to choose who you're going to become yep core values, core values, we, we beat and hammer this home just like a blacksmith that forges a blade.
Speaker 2:You will hear us talk about this over and over again because, as garrett and pk have said, men need to be told once but be reminded several times. And so the reminder on this is you have to have a clear vision of where you're going and have core values. Core values are your metal for your life. Core values are the steel that has the potential to withstand the pressure, the beating, the forging, the fire, the sharpening, the grinding process. If you don't choose those core values, you are going to default to the aluminum that has brought you to where you are and you will crumble under the pressure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and before you know it, you'll be just a passive man living this life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that stick that just gets burned up in the fire.
Speaker 1:Not, not what you want. So, after you've chosen your core values, you've now got your metal in place. But at this point, you're just a piece of metal, you're a bar, basically, at this point, just a piece of metal, you're a bar, basically, at this point. Um, now you've got to start to decide what fire are you going to, um, submerge yourself in? And so the fire, when it comes to forging Aaron, comes down to our environments. So where we are placing ourselves, uh, this leans really hard on you. Know. You're the average of five people you hang out the most with, um when you're at work. Um, how are you? How are you spending your time in that environment? Is your workplace the best spot for you? Maybe this is something you need to stop and take stock of.
Speaker 1:20 years down the road. Are you really going to be loving what you're doing now? Let that challenge you. But really, your environments should do a few things. One, they should make you uncomfortable always. If you're the big fish in a little pond, you will never grow so good, never grow. You have to choose to be a fish in an ocean. At that point, you're going to be challenged. You're going to have things that want to take your life, but you're also going to have the ability to do a lot more exploration, see a lot more experience, a lot more Um so environments are huge. It needs to make you uncomfortable Always. It also needs to expose your failures in your own philosophy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. That's so the equivalent and the metaphor of the following you have preselected your core values. That is the hunk of steel. Now you're submitting to the fire that's going to burn away the impurities in the metal so you can actually be Right. Now you're just a hunk of steel. You have the potential inside, but potential is not enough. Now you need to be burned away with all the things that have held you back. That means you're surrounding yourself around a group of guys that have what you want across their domains faith, fitness, family, finances. You're in the rooms. You're probably the dumbest guy in the room. That's the best place to be, because you have to learn from everybody else.
Speaker 2:Remember, you're the sum of the five people around you, and so you're in the environment of fire.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I love that. It's always fire. It's always fire when it comes to metal. Fire is the Delta, right? If you're ever going to be molded and changed, you have to be put in a place where you're heated up. You're so discomfort, you're in so much discomfort that you're glowing, yeah. You're in so much discomfort that you're glowing, yeah, right Before you can ever take a hammer to it. So your environments have to challenge you. Your environment that challenges you should not be your home. Your wife is not the fire. Your wife is not the Delta, the men around you, which is what we hit on so much, but I don't want guys to overlook this it's the men around you that become the fire.
Speaker 2:So, good.
Speaker 1:So if you're sitting around, if you have men around you that don't feel like fire, then you'll never change. You have to choose men that will make you uncomfortable, expose your failures, expose your impurities and also expose your weaknesses, and there's a consistency that comes within you of choosing to continue to go back to them right, Because that's the only way that you have the chance to change. You've got to get in the fire.
Speaker 2:Love that so good.
Speaker 1:Once you've done that, then you have the opportunity to be changed, to be shaped, to be forged. Yes, forged. Forged, aaron, is something that lots of guys, I think, are certainly open for, but they don't really consider what it takes to forge this piece of metal, after it sat and Lord knows, probably a several thousand degree fire for a long period of time, is it was beaten. It was beaten by metals that are harder than itself. So good, beaten by metals that are harder than itself. And so forging means we've taken the time to build a strong relationship with another man, or a couple other men. Right? We've now begun to be more transparent with this, with yourselves.
Speaker 1:I have the ability to be authentic with you. Let you see the realist versions of me, which exposes the parts of my life that I don't have Right my philosophies that aren't working for me. My money that's not working for me. The way I do my marriage is not working for me. The way I'm raising my children it's not working for me. Um, I'm likely most men are likely living the same life that their fathers lived. That's not a shot at fathers. If you're an adult, take ownership of it. Where you are is up to you. Yeah. So you've got to be able to build those strong relationships, and that comes through tough conversations, that comes through creating the time to be together in proximity to one other, and it takes a lot of intentionality, yeah, but I'd say also that proximity is not enough, right?
Speaker 2:So we were talking about this. If you think about the forge process and building a beautiful sword with a sharp edge, it's a practical tool that can penetrate and cut through all the other BS. Just because that hunk of metal has gone through the fire and is sitting next to other swords that are sharp, that's not enough. The forging process is the repeated beating, cooling, beating, cooling, beating, cooling so that it can actually become a useful tool. And so, if you're in the group, if you're in a proximity, you've joined the high value man tribe and community, you've hired Josh as a coach or you're working with me. Just because you're in proximity, that's not enough. You got to now submit yourself to the continued process of sharpening, sharpening, doing the work and recognizing what the other guys are doing you doing in the tribe and elevating to that standard so this.
Speaker 2:this is the one spot that you know is um, I know it's. It's a trigger point for me, because we have guys that are in our circle. They see the work that needs to happen. They know the effort they need to put with their faith, fitness, family finances. They recognize it, but they're just kind of hanging out. They're just hanging out, they're near the forge but they're not actually submitting to the process. This is the type of guy that will never be the powerful tool, and so you have to continuously submit, allow yourself to be beaten and have that intrusive accountability accountability with the other men in your life.
Speaker 1:I love that and what? What I hear you say in Aaron there is comes down to purpose. The purpose of a sharp blade is to go out and to be used.
Speaker 1:And every man needs to have that ability. As I hear you talking about guys that are exposed to great environments, that maybe have done a little bit of work, I'm reminded that I've been to a couple not that I'm a sword guy, but I've been to a couple shows where you can buy swords. And a lot of these swords that were being sold in these couple of places I'd been to were not sharp as in. They were nickel plated. They looked, they looked great, they might've been. I mean, there were long type of medieval type swords that looked cool but they were designed to go on a wall, which means they were they would never get used. They weren't sharp, they just looked the part.
Speaker 1:And so for the man that wants to have the big house, that wants to drive the exotic car, that wants the beautiful wife that looks like their respecter wants to look like you have your life together, you're, you're creating a sword for yourself that's going to go up on a wall and never get used and you'll live there purposeless for the rest of your life and you'll still get to the end of your life and be fully, just full of regret. Yeah right, everyone wants to be. If you want to be a good looking sword. There's nothing wrong with that kings carry beautiful swords but they were sharp yeah right.
Speaker 1:So this let's really stay focused on our purpose in life, and that's to be not just a tool, because any man can be a tool.
Speaker 2:Yes, don't be a tool out there don't be that tool.
Speaker 1:But to be in your purpose means not only are you a tool, but you are sharpened and you're ready for battle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. So good, so good. Okay. So we've got the choose, the metal core values. Submit to the fire the environment, allow yourself to be forged, the beating and the shaping around other men. What's our fourth and final?
Speaker 1:step. So after, so, after you have been forged, you now have a blade. It has potential, but it's not going to cut through paper. It may, with a lot of effort, penetrate something, but it's not something you want to take out on the battlefield. What's next after that is a grind or a file. So we've all done this. If you have kitchen knives, you've probably done this.
Speaker 1:It requires a diamond blade. It's a completely different portion of the forging process. The forging is basically complete, but the blade is not ready until you've taken it to a diamond surface and you're slowly dragging it out. And so what that does is it takes a blunt edge and makes it a very, very sharp edge. This thing you could literally just the weight of the blade. You could probably drop through a piece of paper and it would cut it in half. That's what we should all be intending and driving to become in our lives, and what that takes in the refining process is, as you're dragging over a diamond process, that means in your life, in this filing process that you're in, you're becoming fallible, you're becoming fallible.
Speaker 2:You're sharpening, you're refining, which is like the mastery, knowing that the work never ends. You take a sword out in a battle. What's the first thing a warrior does when he gets back is he resharpens the blade. And so this is the consistency behind it that just because you're now a beautiful looking sword doesn't mean that you stop the refining process. This is a never ending process. You're always, always sharpening, refining. You know you don't just sit on the wall. You're constantly in preparation for the next battle, so that you can stay as a useful penetrating tool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're actually being used for your purpose, you're going to get dings.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Your sharp parts of your of your blade are actually also going to get bent. So the only way to prepare for the next battle is to go back to the filing, go back to the grinding, just like you talked about, as soon as the battle's over. Rather than looking for the next battle, you've got to take a moment to make sure that your values are still in order, make sure that you're still living a fallible life. You're not just. You don't just have the look right. You don't just have the three-piece Armani suit and the exotic car. You really want to make sure that you are staying sharp and ready for the next conflict, the next opportunity the next chance you get to speak into someone's life.
Speaker 1:So when you're in this area, for the guys who know that they're in the grinding filing season of their life, it means you've become fallible. In some of these areas You're leading yourself. When you're able to lead yourself, that's part of that sharpening. When you are safe and secure to the people that need you the most, you know that you're in a filing sharpening season. If your wife trusts you and your wife is able to be very feminine in who she is, you know that you're sharp. If you're respected in your home, you know that you're sharp. If other men around you now want what you have, you know that you're sharp. If other men around you now want what you have, you know that you're sharp. And sometimes even people will begin to seek your presence and willing to pay a price for it. You know that you're sharp.
Speaker 1:So if these areas, these things I just mentioned out, are not happening for you, then likely you still need to choose your metal. Then likely you still need to go into the fire and re-choose your environments. That means getting some people out that aren't going to make you better and getting around people that will make you better. And then also the forging portion of are you doing consistently what will make you a blade? Are you working out frequently? Are you choosing what's going in your mouth frequently on making those right decisions? Are you choosing to be around other men like coaches or the high value man community that are going to continue to make you uncomfortable and show you areas that you can grow in? So we're all in a different portion of these, but once you get to the filing, grinding, you never leave.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a never ending process. The sword doesn't stay on the wall. It is always prepared for battle, which means the warrior is aware that he's always got to keep it sharp, keep the blade tested so that he can actually be the purposeful design that he is. Yes, I love that. Guys, this is a simple, simple four-step process and analogy that everyone recognizes you know we all have.
Speaker 2:Every man has some fascination with tools, with blades and swords, and you know, I remember just being as a kid. You'd go pick a stick and we'd go have a sword. Fights right. And it's like this is part of your design is to be a proper, useful tool. But it's not something that happens by accident. It doesn't Just like masculinity isn't an accidental thing. Just because you are a biological man does not mean you are a masculine man.
Speaker 2:There is an intentional process you must go through, just like the forging of a blade Choosing your metal. That is, the core values, the vision for your life, deciding who you want to be a decade from now. What that eulogy is going to say about the life lived, what the men around you are going to say about you when you get to the end of your life, submitting yourself to a constant fire, the right environment that means every room you're in. You should be challenged. You should have relationships and friendships that call you out on your BS Cause if you don't have that, you're going to become a dull blade useless than submitting to the forging, beating process Like the simplest way to put this and I'll swear because I can but do hard shit like do it consistently. You know the thing I love so much about Josh every week, when we do our weekly check-ins with the High Value Men group, he's celebrating some new PR Bench press, back, squat, deadlift. He's performing better now, at almost 40 years old, than you were in your late 20s or 30s.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like that's, you're getting sharper over time, like that is a well-refined and designed blade that is useful and purposeful, and then realizing that the grinding, the fire, the refining, the sharpening process that never ends. You know, there there's a great quote. I forget what my mentor shared with me it never ends until it ends ever. Just because you get to a certain point in your financial capacity, your relationship, like that is not the point to take your foot off the gas. It never ends until it ends. Pastor Josh says this beyond this mountain is another mountain, like it is a never, ever, ever ending process of refinement.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that and this is not to pat myself on the back, but even what you're saying of. I'm very happy with my body, but that doesn't mean I quit working out. I have an amazing marriage, but I still go to marriage marriage class every week. Um, my finances are in order, but I've still got an accountant right. I have a good. I have a very good relationship with God, but I still lean into the word every day of my life.
Speaker 1:So that's refining process really comes down. Just like you said, it never ends. But what the beauty is is, as I get years down the road, that 10 year forecast of the man that I want to become continues to evolve and I get to see more and more of him, of what his potential and what his life looks like. That not only does it encourage me, but it continues to challenge me to push harder, to get back in the fire, to get around stronger people that are going to beat me, and over and over and over, I've had the ability to live a very peaceful and satisfactory life, and not that I have it all together, but I'm on a great journey and I think all the things that I get to have now in my life are because I've consistently, at least for the past 10 years, been in this process along with other men that want the same thing.
Speaker 2:Amen. So good Guys, if this episode moved, you, do us a favor. Leave us a five-star review. Share with another man on the journey that needs to be beaten and forged a little bit. Leave us a comment. But also, more so than anything, get inside the community. We have a free community that we built out at school, that has the templates for core values, vision building. Other men will support you. There's weekly free group calls where you can check in with us and actually get dialed in this process, because no one becomes a sharp, useful tool by themselves. So don't be that lone wolf.
Speaker 1:I love that. And, before we go, one of the things you can do right now to sharpen, regardless of what season you're in, regardless of what's going on in your life, an ability you have, that's that you, that's at your fingertips right now is the ability to choose. And so I want to leave you with a call of a call of action of what. What are you willing to commit to today? What are you willing to commit to today? That's hard now, but, you know, will sharpen you.
Speaker 1:So, good, make that decision, make that your first step.
Speaker 2:Yep Action, action, action. That is the power behind all personal development. Decide, decide and take immediate action. Love it, man, as always. Much love, many blessings, and we'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1:Boom.
Speaker 2:We off the podcast. Get back to the fucking mental lab.