The High Value Man Conversation
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Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
3 Steps to Master Discipline and Achieve What You Want
In Episode 33 of the High Value Man Conversation Podcast, we break down the most critical ingredient to success: DISCIPLINE. If you want to change your life—whether it’s your fitness, finances, family, or faith—you need consistent, daily discipline.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
✅ How to see it: Cast a clear vision for what you truly want.
✅ How to decide: Make the decision to cut off excuses and bad habits.
✅ How to see it through: Build routines and habits that stick, with simple, actionable steps.
🎯 Discipline is the hinge that opens the door to your dreams. Whether you're stuck, feeling unmotivated, or simply want more from life, this episode gives you the framework to transform.
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The discipline, like anything else, is a foundational principle that you will build on. It's not something that you have to accomplish all in one day, like a morning routine. If getting up at four o'clock in the morning terrifies you and you're like there's no way that's going to happen, because I currently sleep till noon, that's not how you build a practice of discipline, right, and so you've got to ease your way into, just like anything else. You need to build up to that.
Speaker 2:Door without a hinge is nothing more than a wall. You're never going to go and walk through a wall. So the door for me, represents our desire, the things in life that we truly want. If you truly want it, that door will hinge. It will open or close, based upon the disciplines you decide to walk out. So you have to decide at some point that I'm going to change what I'm currently doing because it's clearly not working for you. So you have to decide. And then that's where the see it through comes through. But I just had the thought and said listen, I want to expose that if you're struggling, if you feel alone, if you got pain in your life, that's because you are disciplined to continue to walk that path out for the rest of your life.
Speaker 3:This is the high value man conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you?
Speaker 1:then who Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation.
Speaker 2:This is episode 33, and it's all about discipline, the least sexy word in the English vocabulary.
Speaker 1:Generally speaking, I think discipline is very sexy. Discipline equals freedom. Discipline, discipline, discipline is just powerful. Yeah, I disagree with you. Okay, well, I know we're going to share kind of the why behind this, but why discipline is so important. But the one thing we're going to preface because we talk about it all the time is discipline without vision is punishment. But vision and discipline together, that's intention and action.
Speaker 2:Love that so powerful. So just to throw it out there as a quick reminder in case you haven't thought of this recently. But your feelings are not facts. Your feelings are not facts, but actions produce outcomes. Pretty easy thing that we can all agree upon. Feelings only take up half of our brain and often they can take control of the steering wheel and we can make decisions and do things that we quickly regret.
Speaker 2:Our feelings are not facts. The other half of that is, if we have an outcome in our life that we desire, it will require an action from us. So actions produce outcomes. And here's one of my favorite Tony Robbins of all time. He says that people change because they want to, or they hurt so bad that they have to. Yep, and if you're in an opportunity where you have a desire for your life, then you have the chance to change because you want to. If you don't at some point in life at some point could be now, it could be 40 years from now you're going to encounter a moment where you have to change. That could include your marriage falling off the cliff, that could be your finances putting you in bankruptcy, that could be your health putting you on a deathbed. So if you have breath in your lungs, you have the opportunity right now to change because you want to, and so that will require discipline. So let's dive into discipline.
Speaker 1:Love it. There's something also you shared that I'd love this, um, as it paints a good picture. But discipline is the hinge. Your desire swings on Right. So picture this you have a door. Look at a door. Right now, right behind Josh, there is a door, and the door is held up by hinges. That door is the gateway towards whatever it is that you say you want, so your desire, the hinge how it opens and closes is discipline. Like that is how you get through the threshold. And what did you say about doors without hinges?
Speaker 2:I said that a door without a hinge is nothing more than a wall. You're never going to go and walk through a wall, and so if you have a desire, so the door for me represents our desire, the things in life that we truly want. If you truly want it, that door will hinge. It will open or close, based upon the disciplines you decide to walk out.
Speaker 1:So good, so good. So you want something. Every man wants more. He wants more of his faith, fitness, family, finances. You want a bigger house, bigger car, nicer watch, whatever it is. Whatever you want, that want is going to require some work, and the work is the discipline, and that's what we're talking about today.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And for anyone out there that's like, oh well, my life is really great, or whatever it may be. Listen, there is a fundamental need that we all have, everyone has and that's the need for progress, for our lives to progress forward. Nobody wants to be in the desert taking laps, nobody wants to relive a pain more than once, but how many times in our lives have we experienced going through the same thing over and over and over again? Painful relationships because you keep picking the same type of woman. Painful relationships with men because you keep seeking out the same empty barstool relationships there, uh uh. Painful life as you stare at your overweight, nasty, crusty tail in the mirror because you haven't done anything about it. So all things that can apply, but we have to have progress in every area of our life, otherwise we are in pain. You're either in progress or you're in pain. There's no third direction in my opinion. So progress is a fundamental lead and, as Aaron said, you know we all want more. Well, more requires something of you. More will never come free, ever.
Speaker 3:Amen.
Speaker 2:And that, as he talked about, that's, through the door, or the hinge, rather, of discipline. Let's go see what you want Decide.
Speaker 1:See it through. Okay, Josh, just gave you a framework, so if you weren't taking notes yet, here's the time to write down step one, two and three. Number one the process of discipline is have vision, See what you three. Number one the process of discipline is have vision, see what you want. Number two is decide. That is means you've made a decision. You're going to walk through that door, You're going to put down the cupcakes and the yo-yos and all that stuff and you're going to start eating healthy. You're going to decide and you're going to see it through the finish line. That means you're going to be consistent as a high value man. You're not just going to show up one day with intensity, but you're going to be consistent over time See, decide and see it through to the finish line.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure, and I think you know we can all really quickly, either we're in the moment or we can quickly recall. I forget moments, seasons, times in our life where it's just been very difficult, something's been very painful, we feel stuck, we're in a rut, we keep doing the getting the same outcomes over and over again. And so this conversation, actually offline, took me back to right around a decade ago where the life leading up to that point was very difficult. As a womanizer, drug user, bankrupt man with multiple failed businesses in every relationship in life was completely empty, um, cause all my friends I I made and had were at the bar. So I had to be at the bar to be around my friends. Um, but I had made a decision that I wanted to change because I was, I was in so much empty pain and solitude, isolation that I all I could see in front of me was death. So I had to figure out something else, because it was just hurt, it was very painful, and so in that couple year round season, I remember looking up the routine of some of the high price producers of the world.
Speaker 2:So take your fortune 150s CEOs or business owners and like, what do these guys do, and they were all pretty generically the same. These guys all got up at 4.00 AM. They had quiet time in the morning with just themselves, when their families were sleeping and the business wasn't really breathing down their back. Um, so they had quiet time where they're in study or meditating, um, they would also have a some sort of consume, some some sort of food whether it's a protein shake or a healthy meal was made for them, and then they would move their bodies and they wouldn't actually get to work Until sometime between 9 and 11 am. They would go to their emails. It's typically the first thing they would go to. I was like man. This is a template that I have never tried in my life, because if I'm out until 2, 3, 4 in the morning, I'm not waking up until noon.
Speaker 2:But I decided to make the change there and give this thing a shot, and out of it was birthed my now morning routine, which I've had for the better portion of a decade, and that's really what I wanted to share with you guys is is I made a decision to get up at four 15, and I've now been doing that for probably around seven to eight years. So I get up at four 15, seven days a week, every day of the year. Um, now there was some implications. My nightlife had to change so that my morning life could exist. That's a decision. I saw something. I wanted to make a decision.
Speaker 2:Uh, something else that I do every single day. Well, let me lean in on the four 15. I get a bit four 15, not just to get up I don't turn on the TV I get a bit four 15, the first two hours of my life. So, from four 30 to six 30, the first hour is spent in the word. I believe, um, in Jesus Christ, so I spend time in the Bible, that's my time with him. And then the second hour is spent in a book where I'm learning something that I don't really know very well. So the first two hours of my day, every day of the week, is spent in learning. Then my family wakes up around 630 and we get our day started. So that's one part of my day. Second thing is, I work out in noon every single day, five days a week, and there was a moment, there was a couple of year window, when we started our construction development company where my, my need to be successful trumped my schedule.
Speaker 2:So for two years I quit working out Aaron and uh, because all my time was going to this new building, this new building, building this new company. And I changed drastically for the negative. And it was two years after that point where I finally saw myself in the mirror, saw myself every day. But I saw myself uniquely in the mirror one day and went oh my gosh, I am headed down a really rough path. I've got to go back to what I was doing. So since then um, that was two years ago so for the last two years I've been back on my noon workouts every single day, which I protect at all costs.
Speaker 2:Third thing I do is I'm present after 4 pm, which may seem really early for most men. I have built that ability in my life where I can make my schedule, but my work schedule ends, generally speaking, at 4 pm. So I get several hours between 4 and 8 pm to be with my family, to be present with my kids, to play with them, just to be in the house. And then the last thing is a commitment that I made of no leftovers to my wife and so, regardless of what the marketplace draws from me, she will never get whatever's left over on my battery If I wake up at a hundred percent. I want to make sure that when I get to the end of the day with my wife, she's not getting my last 6% before I pass out.
Speaker 2:My marriage will fail, and so the last 30 minutes of the day is always spent in quality time Pretzeled up is what I call it, tangled up in presence with her. So just a picture of of some templates that I have. I have taken from other people and implemented in my life, and not that my life has to be the standard, but I would tell you that the significance that I have in my life, the peace that I have in my life, the friendships I have in my life, the progress that has been chasing me down, I give a lot of that credit, one to God, but even more just as equally to the decision that I made and the fact that I'm seeing it through seven days a week. Love that.
Speaker 1:Recap that. So Josh saw a vision for a life that he wanted. He looked into high performers CEOs, founders of companies, people with significant success and made a decision to follow their template. So that's a blueprint. Then he has seen it through and has 10 years of consistency and experience to where he can actually speak to the fruit that has shown up in his life. And that's really the simplest way to applying a discipline practice. And the one thing that Josh and I were offline about before we hopped on this episode is we both have a morning routine and what we want to leave you with as we talk about this is that if discipline doesn't happen first thing in the morning, it's not going to happen, it won't. It won't Period, right.
Speaker 1:So my morning routine very, very similar to Josh. I didn't read the same books you did in regards to the. You know the mindset of the CEO, but I just know that that time works and I saw it also in other templates. And so four to four, 30 wake up time consistently, that's my time to first get out of bed, set my framework for the day. First thing I do when I get in the morning is spend a little time in quiet time. I just close my eyes, I meditate. If I can, I can do it outside with Ness, I got my feet in the grass.
Speaker 1:But just a little bit of quiet time First to set the intentions for the day, then I write. I read and write. It's a combination of the two and that's really the big part of my morning spending 90 minutes to two hours writing, reading, reflecting and just setting the intention for my day. That is sets the tone for everything else my workout time, flexibility, my workout. I love working out at noon. It doesn't always happen, but it's either noon or 6 PM. But I don't miss my 30 minute workout at very minimum every single day, and that's again relying on the discipline framework. But the process for this is so stupidly simple. You just got to see it, you got to decide and you got to see it through.
Speaker 2:Which it seems very simple. I think from this place, Aaron, because of where we are, it does seem very simple. But for the men who are listening to this that think you know I could really make you could use some change in your life, I want you to know that change isn't just going to happen for you. Change right now in your life is probably just sitting in your cup holder next to you if you're driving down the road, but if you want true, significant outcome that helps you feel better about yourself, that is going to positively impact your bank accounts, that will give you a life that your wife wants to respect, to create a wake that your children want to get in, it's going to require change from you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that change will come through a discipline and you're going to have to, you're going to have to decide, which, to me, aaron is, is really comes down to the power of the why you have to have a why that's strong enough that's going to move you. Um, and going back to my story, is I didn't change because I wanted to. I was I changed over over a decade ago cause I was in so much pain. I had to.
Speaker 2:I was I changed over over a decade ago cause I was in so much pain I had to Um. So I wasn't fortunate enough to have this message brought to me or to be motivated by a close friend. I was in so much pain that I saw the direction I was going in and I was looking. I felt like I was looking face, you know, death in the face. But I did make a decision. Um, I had a very powerful why.
Speaker 2:And 10 years years later, I can say that I'm seeing it through. I'm nowhere close to done, but I'm seeing it through. It's good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think on on that too. We talked to a lot of guys and the um discipline will get resistance because they haven't practiced it before. Um, the discipline, like anything else, is a foundational principle that you will build on. It's not something that you will build on, it's not something that you have to accomplish all in one day. So you think about, like a morning routine, If getting up at four o'clock in the morning terrifies you and you're like there's no way that's going to happen because I currently sleep till noon. That's not how you build a practice of discipline, right? And so you got to ease your way and so, just like anything else, you want to step underneath a bench, press and bench for the first time 315. You need to build up to that. And so, starting with a very basic discipline blueprint, we know the discipline first has to start in the morning. Maybe it's just getting up when your alarm goes off and not hitting snooze. That's your first one. Then making your bet Something very, very simple, practical, tactical Spending five minutes reading, getting outside, walking, whatever it is.
Speaker 1:Start with the basics. I think about the framework for this, basics. For me it goes back to our four Fs. We teach on this in HVM faith, fitness, family finances. What are the four things at very minimum I need to do with the first part of the morning that will move my mission forward, my life forward as a man? Quiet time, reading, reflecting with God, some type of movement, taking the dog outside, drop him down, doing some burpees, doing something that gets some energy going inside your body, some gratitude texts, family time cookie, like doing a little bit of loving up on those that you care about. And then what are you doing for your business? First thing in the morning Mindset, skill development, reading, a book Core four, four basic things that that move the mission forward, for basic daily disciplines that will allow you to see that to your vision in a daily, practical way.
Speaker 2:I love that Um had a. Really I'm glad that you mentioned the alarm clock I had. I had a thought as you were talking, aaron, of. You know men and all of us are. But men, specifically, it's who we're talking to, uh are already disciplined. Your, your habits expose all of us are. But men, specifically, it's who we're talking to, uh are already disciplined.
Speaker 2:Your, your habits expose all of your disciplines. And so if you snooze a half dozen times, you have disciplined your wake up schedule. Um, if you have to be at work at nine and you sleep until eight, 15 every day, because you snooze for an hour and then you race to work and you always stop off and get your cup of hot sugar caffeine, that's a discipline. If you're stressed at work because you're barely producing or barely getting by, you've now become disciplined in that. If you eat fast food for all your meals, if you get all your meals through the window of a drive-thru, you've disciplined yourself in that. If you choose to be stagnant in your physical life, you've disciplined yourself in that. If you choose to be stagnant in your physical life, you've disciplined yourself in that. So we can look at every habit that we have and we have already disciplined ourselves negatively in these areas, which is why it comes back to one.
Speaker 2:You've got to have step one. You have to see, you have to have vision for what you want. Nobody wants more for your life than you and you can't expect someone to want more for your life than you. So you have to see it and you have to want it enough to then decide. So that becomes your why. So you have to decide at some point that I'm going to change what I'm currently doing because it's clearly not working for you. So you have to decide. And then that's where the see it through comes through. But I just had the thought and I said listen, I want to expose that if you're struggling, if you feel alone, if you got pain in your life, that's because you are disciplined to continue to walk that path out for the rest of your life. But you also have the ability to choose. Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:That's good, you know. The see it through part, I think is well, it's obviously would be the most important, because how many guys start disciplines at the first of the year?
Speaker 2:It's just a month away from that, Aaron.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right around the corner, my friends. And they set the fitness goal, the macro goal, the not drinking budget, whatever it is, and their discipline for a week. And then, next thing, you know you're backsliding because you hit some roadblock or obstacle. We didn't include this in the step one, two or three, but you're going to see it through, you're going to decide, and then you're, you're I'm sorry, you're going to see it with a vision. You're going to decide, you're going to see it through. What happens when you get off track with number three, how do you recalibrate?
Speaker 2:Cause recalibrate, because you've had to recalibrate, I've had to recalibrate. Certainly. Well, that's part of the awareness. If you've truly decided, then to me that's like going bowling. If you go bowling, there's there's gutters on either side of your lane. So if you've decided with your vision, you see where you want to go and you've decided, then you've also decided what you don't want, right? You can't decide what you do want unless you also know what you don't want. And the moment you begin to dabble in your don't want, you go into the gutter. You have to be aware of it and be reminded of your decision, which is why we will always encourage you to write them down. Your vision needs to be written down. Your mission needs to be written down. Your goals need to be written down Because, as humans, we so quickly forget as soon as we get a little positive in an area. I got a little more cash in the bank, my wife's off my back. I'm feeling a little bit better about my body.
Speaker 1:You stop doing the discipline that got you there, then we stop.
Speaker 2:So you have to have these things written down and then review them right, Be able to get back to them. One thing I love about a discipline my wife and I have is coming up on the first year, like we do every year. This will be our sixth time doing it is for the first week of January. We take five days to be together and in that quality time, which is which is connecting to us, we also um set our calendar for our date nights the entire year. We also pick three couples that we're going to pursue more intimate relationship with throughout the course of the year, which means we call them, we text them, we actually put date nights with them on the calendar as well for the full year, and then we review our goals from the previous year and then, five years before, see where we've come from, where we are, and we write out our goals for that year.
Speaker 2:And so that's part one. Part two is every quarter of the year, we do a day where we just go to a coffee shop. I live in Dallas, so we'll just go to a different coffee shop every quarter. We spend a day reviewing those goals. How far have we come? Goals are fluid.
Speaker 2:So if I want to lose 100 pounds in a year which I can't but if I want to lose 100 pounds a year, which I can't, but if I want to use a hundred pounds a year and in quarter one I've lost three.
Speaker 2:I probably need to adjust that a hundred pounds right. So all goals need to be fluid, but they're only fluid if they're reviewed on a somewhat frequent basis. So goals are set at the beginning of the year and then they're. They are reviewed every single quarter and fluidly adjusted so that I'm always progressing in these areas. So I might have a 10 X desire, but if in one year I only two X what I really wanted, well, guess what? I'm two X farther down the road than I was when I started the year. So that's a big piece for us. That we, that we get to do and we get to walk it every year. That is a discipline. But also has some grace in there, because at some point I will go off in the gutter. I'm far from perfect and will never be, but there's also grace in that. But grace only comes because I have the awareness to review what I said I wanted. It's good.
Speaker 1:It's good, it's powerful. All right, my friends, if you want more in your life, faith, fitness, family, finances, if you want to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your high value woman, your wife, your spouse or your friends, if you want to be ripped, jacked, lean, you want to have the endurance you want to go compete in that high rocks, competition, crossfit or whatever your thing is. If you want to make more money in the marketplace, you want to be the type of person that can literally retire his family, create significant impact. These are all the things you want. That desire is a beautiful thing. The way that you create that desire and actually live it out and have it all hinges on your ability to execute on disciplines, daily disciplines, not one-time disciplines, but consistent, daily, non-negotiable, core four disciplines you do every fricking day.
Speaker 1:Vision is the most powerful thing. It will drive, you will direct, you will pull, you will call, you will get you out of bed at three o'clock in the morning, before your alarm clock, in a highly energized state. That is the power of vision. So see it through. Number two decide, decide. I'm done with the old passive, soft, just gross ways where I'm undisciplined, fat, slob, mess, gross. Stop it. And three. You got to see it through. You're going to hit the roadblocks, the obstacles. You're going to be challenged and confronted. You're not going to feel like doing it, but the power of discipline just Josh said at the beginning has nothing to do with your feelings. You've set the intention, you've decided, you've cut off the back way, you burned the boats. You're going to see it through to the end.
Speaker 2:Exactly, if there's breath in your lungs, then you're not done seeing it through. Amen Push.
Speaker 1:Let's go.
Speaker 2:It's worth it. It's always worth it. Everything you say that you want is on the other end of a sacrifice. So what are you willing to give up so you can actually grow some more fruit in your life?
Speaker 1:Let's go as always. My friends, if you enjoyed this episode, do us a favor, leave us a five-star review, comments. You know, engage with us. We like hearing from you guys. If you have any topics that you'd like us to cover in this upcoming holiday season, let us know as well. Share this, leave a five-star review, but, more so than anything, join us. On the other side, we have a free community, the high value man community, and we have regular weekly check-ins. We got content in there and we'd love to learn more about your personal journey of becoming a high value man do it much love, many blessings.
Speaker 1:Talk to you guys soon.
Speaker 3:Boom, we off the podcast. No-transcript.