The High Value Man Conversation
The High Value Man gets what he wants from WOMEN, WORK AND THE WORLD OF MEN. He's confident, charismatic, creative and collaborative and it all begins with High Value Conversations. Have a listen to this weeks High Value Conversation.
Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
The 4 Stages Every Man Must Conquer to Succeed
Most men spend their entire lives running in circles...
thinking they’re making progress, but never truly leveling up. Why?
Because they don’t know what it takes to become a man who matters.
This isn’t your average self-help fluff.
We’re pulling back the curtain on the 4 Stages of Masculine Growth that every high-value man must conquer:
- Birth: The hard truth about becoming self-reliant (no one’s coming to save you).
- Adulthood: Why your skills and mastery make or break your future.
- Marriage: The brutal reality of sacrifice and service (and why most men fail here).
- Legacy: How to live beyond yourself and build a lasting impact.
This episode isn’t just about “improving your life”
it’s about redefining what it means to be a man.
If you’re ready to get out of your own way, take control, and create a life that matters, start here.
👉 Click play to get the blueprint.
👉 Join our free High-Value Man community—resources, coaching, and a tribe of driven men waiting for you
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===> Join the weekly newsletter and get your free copy of 5 Steps to Becoming a High Value Man
You should be spending more time with people, not just your family, but people in your sphere, speaking into them, giving wisdom, teaching, coaching, really creating the ability for your gifts, your talents, your knowledge and your wisdom to be in bed, setting up the next generation to overtake everything that you did in your life. That is a legacy worth living.
Speaker 1:Most guys don't understand that there is an actual journey to becoming a man, simply that we are born male. Yet to become a man is a lifelong process. It requires things of us. You have to have self-discovery, service initiation and influence All things that you choose, put action to and see through to the end. Just because you were born a certain way doesn't mean you hit an age and all of a sudden you're the guy False.
Speaker 3:True.
Speaker 1:And so marriage is one of those things that exposes the worst parts of you, while giving you the opportunity to truly taste and see the fruit of what this life can give, and that's doing life with somebody entrusted to you.
Speaker 2:This is the high value man conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you?
Speaker 3:then who? Welcome back to the High Value man Conversation. This is episode 35, and we are talking about rites of passage, the four stages of masculine growth for a high value man.
Speaker 1:Yep, what I love about this is being a man, being around men is that most guys don't understand that there is an actual journey to becoming a man, simply that we are. We are born male. Yet to become a man is a lifelong process. It requires things of us. You have to have self-discovery, service initiation and influence all things that you choose, put action to and see through to the end. Just because you were born a certain way doesn't mean you hit an age and all of a sudden you're the guy. Yep. False Truth, false Hurt people, hurt people. Healthy men create great lives.
Speaker 3:Amen to that. You know, I we started this conversation because one of our guys in our ecosystem has had a pretty like remarkable transformation this last year, and I just think he did something that is on my bucket list what I believe is a rite of passage for most men, which is to kill, a quarter and hunt an animal, and I think that is just something every guy's got to do at some point. So if you're going to create a list of things to do as like initiation rites of passage, hunting, killing, quartering and grilling an animal might be on that list. But one of our great friends, chris, from our Men in Light group, recently took down his first deer.
Speaker 3:He did, yeah and you were there for it, Josh. You got to wipe some blood on his face. Tell us a little about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So we had a group of guys go out to a hunt in Oklahoma on this spectacular sprawl of a property over 9,000 acres and just a blessing to be invited to that property. So I had the opportunity to invite Chris. I knew that he'd never been on a hunt. In my own experience, the value of life that you gain introspectively by taking a life which is tough to make sense of if you've never done it, is truly is a rite of passage. It helps you see life in a whole new way, but then also as a man in your own authority to do that and then walk through what it takes to quarter out skin a deer, and then we have a little fun with him. So every guy that takes his first deer ends up, you know, typically covered in blood up to his elbows, but we also rub blood from the animal on his face and kind of give him some some dressing, and that's always fun for us too. But it's designed to be an intricate experience that he'll remember the rest of his life.
Speaker 3:For sure, and that is an absolute rite of passage. You know, you think about, you know the, the stages that we all going to go through. We're going to walk through these four stages that every adult goes through in regards to rite of passage, but death is one of them. And so, recognizing that, you know, life is short and we need to create meaningful time, purposeful time, and that we do have the ability to not only give life but also take life, so I think that that is such a beautiful part, but you know just, the conversation around Chris and his transformations last year, I think, inspired this conversation around rite of passage. Yeah, last year, I think, inspired this conversation around rite of passage. Yep, for sure, love it. So let's walk these guys through our four stages.
Speaker 1:Four stages of a high value man.
Speaker 3:Yep. So, first and foremost, from a human standpoint, there are four stages of rites of passage, four rites of passage that everyone goes through. One is your birth. This is like your self-discovery self-awareness stage. This is like your self-discovery self-awareness stage. Second is going to be your adulthood prepubescent, into your adolescence.
Speaker 3:From women, it's very, very clear they get their period. They are now transitioned to that second right of passage, second stage of life. Boys don't have them. That's why it's so important, so necessary for you to be able to have a group of men, a tribe, around you that will initiate that boy into manhood. But your second stage is adulthood. Third stage is marriage. This is where your singular life now becomes about someone else, and so you go from selfishness to service and that's your season of marriage. And then the very last stage, the last rite of passage, is death. This is your legacy, this is your ability to influence, mentor, train other people. But it's the final rite of passage that we're all going to experience at some point. We're all are born, we all step into well, some of us step into adulthood and you know, many of us, you know, seek marriage as a rite of passage. But we're all going to die at some point. So these are the four stages.
Speaker 1:Yep, and they're very important. So the the sooner in your life regardless of what year or decade you're currently in the sooner in your life you gain an awareness of this and appreciation of it, then there becomes a responsibility and the consequence for you to intentionally step through each one of them. Um, so this is not really about checking boxes. This is really about highlighting a path that every man is required to take, and so a whole point of this conversation is for you to not end up in a stage and take the same year, lap for the next 72 years and then have your life mean nothing Right.
Speaker 3:Exactly Because you can go, you can have the first stage, which is obviously birth, and you can have the last stage, which is death, and you go through your entire life and never becoming an adult and never getting married and being like man. My life was meaningless, it never had any purpose behind it.
Speaker 1:It's because you have to intentionally go through the other stages, yes, and any man who walks out of that life and there are plenty of men who do, whether they realize they're doing it or not simply create their life to be nothing more than a great tragedy. Yeah, so we want our lives to be an impact. We need our lives to progress, we need to be an influence of positivity. We, that's a positivity. We need to open the door for others to step through. These are all things that that make a life substantial, make a life not just good but great. So we'll walk through each one of these a day for simply to bring awareness, so that men can realize what stage you're in and then prepare themselves to walk into the next one for the better of themselves. It's good.
Speaker 3:So your first stage, which is birth Another way of looking at this is your self-discovery stage right, so you're learning everything about what it takes to be you. This is a very selfish season. This is where you are developing the skill sets, the understanding of just the very basics. Your birth stage, you know, hopefully, you know, doesn't exceed past your adolescence, your teenage years, your 20s, you know, doesn't exceed past your adolescence, your teenage years, your twenties Um, I can say that honestly though. Uh, not having a blueprint and not being around a good group of men. My first stage my birth self-discovery last until I was about 29. I was like that was when I finally woke up, pulled my head out of my butt and actually had enough self-awareness and agency to start making some changes.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, the cool thing about this stage is you're able to make decisions where the consequence is really only on you, and so one of the things, aaron, that you shared that is a great tool slash opportunity for men in this stage of birth. And again, this is anyone who's unmarried and probably already tiptoeing on adulthood, but is to do a walkabout, so talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so the walkabout um, in aussie terms down under this is where the uh aboriginal boys would be sent out into some type of tribal initiation, and so they were born as babies and boys and taking care of mother, and then the men of the tribe would go grab that young son and go stick him out into nature, typically cut his arm, give him a knife, and so he said go fin for yourself. You know, take 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, go travel the world. This is the backpacking trip right after high school. This is the going off to the military to go learn a skill set.
Speaker 3:This is where your life is going, from being safe, nurtured and protected to go and doing something difficult, where you become self-reliant. If you don't develop self-reliance within that first stage of development this is kind of your birth through your adolescence Hopefully you've got this figured out by your twenties Then you're going to be you're going to be a liability to other people, and so self-reliance is the first outcome that you need to develop in that first year, and that's what that walkabout does. This is what the intentional rite of passage does, but the idea behind this is that you become self-reliant. You no longer need mother's teat to go and nourish yourself.
Speaker 1:And I'm glad you said it that way, because we do have a lot of men who may or may not still be like on the emotional and financial teat of mom and dad, but there are some that are well in their adulthood. The big deal here to take away, as far as that is, this is an intentional action that teaches a man self-reliance to the point of you don't have your parents directing your life in your adulthood. You don't have your parents directing your marriage in your adulthood. You're not replicating the house that you grew up in in your adulthood. So these are things that you need to do. If you're already married, it's okay to backtrack and do some of these things because you want to get yourself right, but especially for men that are either single or booed up or unmarried, is to take the opportunity to do something like a walkabout, both in the literal and even metaphorically, to dive into this area. Another thing that we do, aaron, in this birth stage, that we need to be intentional about, is seeking conflict, seek conflict.
Speaker 1:This is the ability for us, as men, to choose our heart. Life is going to be hard regardless. I know a lot of people have this unrealistic vision that when I get to a certain age or a certain stage in my life, life gets easier. It gets simpler. I will tell you, I'm in my forties and every year has just gotten harder. Every year has produced more fruit, has become more satisfactory, but life has never gotten easier, and I'm sure that you would agree with that. It only continues to get harder. So you need to prepare yourself for that by seeking conflict.
Speaker 1:Ways that we can do this and choosing our heart is formal competition, formal competition and get in a fight. The whole beauty behind that is is a man has to know what he's capable of, and we have so many I'll use the term cis men running around that are incompetent. They're unable to make a positive impact because they haven't been taught that masculinity gives them an authority to really be a masculine, strong man, to be impactful, literally with conflict. And so, yes, formal competition is great. As men is wired in us, we need it. But I'll also very much support Go. Get in a fight Doesn't mean go to a bar Probably not. You can pick a fight, but whether it's guys around you or joining jujitsu or kickboxing or karate or whatever it may be for you, go figure out what you're capable of physically.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:Another one we already mentioned is take a life. Our life is so valuable. You hear me say this all the time, but time is the only currency we actually get currency we actually get. Don't be a man that turns 50, turns 60 and starts to see the end of his life nearing and start to decide oh man, my time is valuable because it's dwindling. Do it early in your life and realize that this life is nothing more than a breath as far as length, and make the most of it.
Speaker 1:Taking a life like a hunt is a great way for a man to be. Have his eyes open to the value of his own life. It's good. Yeah, the last thing we have here is an apprenticeship or followership that if you ever want to be a great leader, we have to first become great followers. So good. So our who we follow can't just be a hero or a social media person, an athlete or even just our parents, right, those are people that are essentially assigned to us, but, as a man, moving from birth and preparing for adulthood is, we have to choose who we're following. Find people that have what you want, people that have what you say that you want, and get so close in proximity in their draft, that you're no longer having to recreate the wheel for yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's good. Create the wheel for yourself yeah, that's good. So to step out of this season of where you're on mother's teat into self-reliance, you know the recap of Josh said is you first and foremost need to know what you're capable of. And so intentional conflict, confrontation, getting in a fight, and again, the fight doesn't have to be a bar fight, it shouldn't be a bar fight, but it's some type of sanctioned situation where you get to understand really like your strength, your power and understand how to use it.
Speaker 3:Go, do something where you can become self-reliant. You're outside of the normal land of the known in Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. You're stepping out into your first adventure. This is where you really start to develop that self-reliance as you get out of this birth stage. And this birth stage again can last for 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, all the way until you're 30 years old. Because unless you develop full self-reliance across all of your domains, not only your physical, your emotional, your spiritual, your mental this is where you're not relying on anybody else. You stay stuck there. And so all the things that Josh mentioned if you haven't done those yet, great thing is you're now developed the self-awareness. Go back and do it.
Speaker 1:For sure. And that prepares us for stage two. Stage two is adulthood. As a kid I can remember I could not wait to turn 18 because I thought, man, I'm going to be an adult, I could do all the things to get all the freedoms balderdash right.
Speaker 3:I just get to pay taxes.
Speaker 1:But one of the great things that we get the opportunity to, especially if you're in our sphere, if you're in our ecosystem, you get to hear us harp about how important it is to have core values. Have core values so to understand what your life stands for. Going to, one of my favorite musicals of all time is Hamilton, and there's a line in Hamilton that says if you don't know what you stand for, then you'll fall for anything, and in our lives that can certainly be the case. So to understand that you need to create core values. If you don't have core values, you could easily pull up your schedule, your calendar, and I will tell you what you value most probably the workplace and maybe a game on the weekends. Outside of that, you don't do anything with your time and your life really has no impact anywhere. So to have values that you stand for gives you also clarity on your own mission. Your life has to have mission in order to have purpose. So create core values.
Speaker 1:Another one is develop brotherhood. Brotherhood guys in the military. This is something that's such a gift of that type of organization and that type of commitment is you are forced to be around other men that you entrust your life to, and for the rest of us who don't get that, or for men that leave the military, it's so important for us to create an atmosphere that will challenge us. Not just a guy that'll give you a high five, meet you at the bar or throw a baseball with you, but guys that challenge how we live, how we think, and push us forward, keeping us progressing. It's good, um, the beauty with a good, healthy brotherhood is it produces within us, aaron, authenticity, which men are typically weak at. Transparency, which men are typically weak at.
Speaker 3:And accountability, which every man needs coherency, which men are typically weak at, and accountability which every man needs, don't care how hard or how high you regard yourself, you need it. Yeah, and the big, and I think the greatest thing too of that brotherhood is that iron sharpens iron. So, in this season of adulthood, if you truly want to become a master at some point and whatever your profession is, your career is, whatever your life path is you have to sharpen the blades, your talents and your treasure. It means you need to be in proximity with men that are at a further advanced journey than you, so they can create that sharpening inside of your own sphere. And so you know, the takeaway from this in this adulthood season is you're developing the skill sets that will direct you towards mastery. In order to do that, you have to surround yourself with a band of brothers that are on the path the same way.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And if you're the kind of guy where and I've certainly been this man and still feel it but if you're the kind of guy that your pride says, well, I like being the big fish in the pond, it feels good, then you may be the big fish in the pond, but in a very short timing you will be overtaken. You will be passed by. Everyone else around you in your life will mean very little. So to be in a room with people that are further down the road than you, more intelligent than you, stronger than you, have better relationships and you have more money than you will stretch you this goes back to you're the average of the five people you hang out with. Well, those other four people in your sphere better be further down the road than you.
Speaker 3:Love that Okay. So first umite of passage season reflect on self-reliance. That is the goal you're looking for in that birth stage. You want to become self-reliant. Get off the milk onto the meat. Stage two is adulthood. This is your selfish season like this is where you can develop the skill sets. You start to understand what you're good at. You're going to surround yourself with the brotherhood you You're going to sharpen this fear. You're deepening your strengths. Now we're stepping into the third stage, which is marriage, and this rite of passage, this season, is all about service.
Speaker 1:So the beauty behind marriage is it's one of the greatest gifts, in my opinion, on this side of eternity that we get the opportunity to experience. That we get the opportunity to experience For all of us who are believers. We know that that's one of the first ordinations that God gave after creating life was creating what intimate relationship between a man and woman looks like, and that's through marriage. And so marriage is one of those things that exposes the worst parts of you while giving you the opportunity to truly taste and see the fruit of what this life can give, and that's doing life with somebody entrusted to you. So things that we need to do if you're in the marriage stage is number one is establish roots. So establish roots. Men often chase their careers. They will uproot and move all over the country for a little bit more money or a little bit better opportunity, but by establishing roots, because a woman's number one need is certainty. She needs to know, undoubtedly, that you are who you say that you are. So to establish roots in marriage means geographically move, be in the place that you're going to be in for at least a long-term scenario. And the reason why you do that is you can't also establish great relationships around you if you're hopping up, leaving every 12 seconds, chasing your own significance. But get roots geographically, spiritually, through a biblically-based church, relationally, give yourself the time to build actual male relationships and other couple relationships that you do life with. This isn't Facebook friendship, this is real life. And then also to establish roots for your own vocation. So, financially, we have the ability to really grow in who we are and our financial impact by not hopping around all the time. There's a guy in my life that he's a great dude, he's good at a lot of things, but he often gets bored at what he does, and so every two years he's doing something new and shocking that he's always in financial stress, always Because he's always starting over, sure. So gaining roots First big step of marriage.
Speaker 1:Number two is to develop a life, which means to establish a mission. So you're no longer making decisions for just you, you're making decisions for a legacy. This is where legacy begins. Right, as a man, is when we're tethered to a woman and we create a family. We also have to give direction for that family if we intend for it to ever make a positive impact in the kingdom and around the world. And so establishing a mission this comes back to our vision, core values, things we've already covered before is you have to establish that in your marriage.
Speaker 1:And then for men getting tapped into masculine community which we've talked about already in a previous stage, but not just staying so you don't, you're just not around men until you find a woman and you go off and then your woman's your woman and that's it. More than ever, married men need to be around. Strong men that are also married, who make their marriage a priority. Is you have to be tapped in. And then we took a life in the previous stage and a lot of us get the opportunity to create a life. Uh, one of the most memorable emotional moments is watching my children come to life and what that did for me as a man and the immediate shifts that I desired to make, because I was now a responsible man, a father, no longer just a man and a husband is intricate for a man, and so we happen to have a newlywed man in the room. So do you have anything to say to that with, uh, with your new stage?
Speaker 3:With this new right of passage? Absolutely. You know I've spent a lot of time in that self-discovery, self-reliance, selfish season in, you know, prior to marriage, and I think the biggest mindset shift in stepping into this initiation, this, this season, is having great templates to follow. You know, if I didn't have the relationship that I have with you and your wife, pk Elevate Life Church, you know, uncle Bax, so many great templates of of great modern men. They're living that high value lifestyle across their faith, fitness, family and finances that are truly honoring their wife and building a great life.
Speaker 3:I don't know that I would intentionally pursue this. You know it wasn't long ago that I actually made the decision that I wanted to get married and have kids. I'd say it was about 35. So only maybe five or six years ago I didn't want to have kids and I didn't want to get married. I was like I'm going to live this lifestyle out because A in my entire 35 years over the life, I've never seen a marriage that actually works. Most people are, statistically, they're on their second or third marriage. Their kids don't respect them, their wife doesn't respect them. They're fat, they're out of shape, they're not pursuing things they want to do. Why would I want that? No one's really selling the sizzle of why marriage works, and so that was really my frame until 35. And there there was a couple of relationships that showed up in my life are right around that season of 35. I was like man you know, what.
Speaker 3:Maybe there is a possibility, and when I saw what's happening elevate life church met, you and your wife, saw what PK has modeled to his son and grandkids and you actually see a template for it and I was like you know what? This is something that I do want. It is a great foundation and it becomes a multiplier for so many more things beyond my own life, and so it was really the first time within you know, less than the last 10 years, that I saw a picture of possibility, to where my life gets to mean something more, if and when I choose to decide to go in union with somebody, and then what we can do with our kids. And so that's the beautiful thing about this season I'm very much newlywed, I'm excited about it, but I feel more prepared, more confident and really just set up for success because of the previous seasons of choosing to surround myself with great men.
Speaker 1:I love that, especially with stage one and stage two, with birth and adulthood, we have the ability to be very selfish, which is necessary in discovering who we are and who we want to become. Yourself to another human being, and having and growing a family is you get to experience the true definition of selflessness, which is service. The outcome that we want to have with marriage is if you ever want to have a painful life, make it all about yourself, but if you ever want to have a highly significant and substantial life, make it about service to others, and this is a stage of the catalyst. Really, I think that prepares us to have have highly joyful and successful and impactful lives as men are the lessons that we get to learn inside of marriage, and I don't think there's another, another way that we can do it except through marriage.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that, it's great, all right. So recap three stages, three rites of passage we've passed through so far. First, birth this this is your self-discovery, self-reliance stage. Adulthood this is the selfish season where you're developing your skills and becoming a master in some type of career path. Third is the selfless and service based season of marriage, where your life then becomes responsible for somebody else and you get to create a life as you bring kids into the world. And now we're transitioning into the fourth and final rite of passage, the fourth stage of masculinity, which is death. This is where the mindset shifts away from you towards the other people. You get a mentor model, towards pass on your teaching, your philosophy and hopefully leave a legacy behind.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure. The the outcome of the last stage of life could be one of two things, based upon who you've chosen to be. Either, because everyone leaves a legacy Everyone leaves a legacy. You will either be a stepping. The last stage of life could be one of two things, based upon who you've chosen to be, because everyone leaves a legacy, everyone leaves a legacy. You will either be a stepping stone for those who follow you, or you'll be a crutch. And by being a crutch, you're going to set up all the different kings in your life that you've allowed to dictate who you are. You're going to step out of the way and give them open range on your children and grandchildren.
Speaker 1:So, whether that's alcoholism, whether that's being lazy, being fat, having horrible eating habits all the things that we choose to do that have a negative impact you literally get out of the way and go oh, there's my kids, have a shot at them. And we see it happen generation to generation, which is why, in America specifically, we see every single generation starting over. So we don't want the same house that we grew up in. We go off to college and learn different vocations than our parents may have done, because we don't want to reproduce, and so that's the very default way of living in our country, versus, if you have a legacy mindset, knowing my life will come to an end.
Speaker 1:My time is the most valuable thing that I've got. How am I spending it? I'm going to be intentional with it. I'm going to make an influence. I'm going to get around people that challenge me consistently. As we've talked about in previous episodes, I'm going to choose to have a life that lives sore, which means I'm growing and progressing in every area of my life. You then become a stepping stone for those who follow you, and those can be produced and left first with your philosophies as, and those can be produced and left first with your philosophies as parents, as an older generation, because with my gray hairs I'm stepping into that older generation is. I'm now leaving a footprint or a philosophy that others will follow and others will adapt.
Speaker 1:So I'm handing down not just my assets and God forbid liabilities. Don't hand your children liabilities. You're better than that. But handing down assets and, more important than that, handing down philosophies.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the philosophy is if your philosophy has been practiced in all of your domains your faith, fitness, family, finances you will have fruit at the end of your life and your kids will more than likely see that fruit and want to carry on that philosophy. On the opposite side of that, if you don't have fruit and you are fat, out of shape, your life doesn't respect you. You've never produced any type of meaningful victories inside of your domain, at work, or inside of your personal life, any type of achievements. You're leaving them a blueprint of things not to do and that's why, as Josh mentioned, you go to school. You pursue another vocation. You'd say I want to do anything other than what my parents did because I don't want to end up anything like them.
Speaker 3:And what a horrible imprint that you're leaving behind versus the other side is. If you truly live by a code set of virtues, you've got values. You live by a vision that is pulling you and calling you forward. You're stacking consistent victories. You overcome those vices, those roadblocks. Then you get to create a beautiful blueprint that your kids get to adopt on their own.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that, and so a great practice that we can challenge you to do is to write a book. Right, If there's philosophies in your life that are working, if there's things that you truly want to embed in your children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren especially because the Bible talks about the decisions in the life of a man trickle down four generations. If you want to give them what works in your life, write a book. Write a book.
Speaker 1:Everybody should write a book. Everybody should. What I love about a book and one of the great men in my life has said this before is that when you read a book you get to wean from the best parts of an individual, because typically when someone writes a book they've got generations or not generations, they've got decades of decisions and actions. They've taken that work and they decide to put them between, you know, between between pages, and you get to wean from that. And then typically reading a book does not take long, so you can get a lifetime worth of wisdom, knowledge, understanding and action and philosophy absorbed in a very short amount of time. So write a book.
Speaker 3:And here's the thing If you don't write a book, someone else will write one for you. Ouch, then it's the truth, right? And so think about this. You're growing into adulthood and you're like my mom is like this, my dad is like this. They've always been like this. You've created a story based on who you think you are, based on your perspective, your hurt, your trauma, your problems, all of that, and you probably have never really gained the insight as to what created your parents the way they were, and so you've already created this idea of who they are, and it's just like taking an insight of somebody without actually understanding their story. But if you write a book and you have your philosophies written down and you live by it, you've got a piece of manuscript that will tell the story of who you are long after you.
Speaker 1:So powerful. Another way that we can prepare for our own death is also through generosity, and so many people tie the word generosity just to financial, and so we ought to live lives that do create financial stability and the ability to be financially generous in our later years in life. But what I want guys to mostly focus on with this is generosity. First of all, with your talent, which is what we're talking about the gifts and the skills that we have received and we have perfected over our lifetime, we can start to embed in everyone else that we follow yes, with our children and grandchildren, but also for the people that entrust us to their sphere to leave and ingrain the best parts of yourself in people. But even more so than that is to be generous with your time.
Speaker 1:We live in a country that says go to school, get a career, save some money and retire. So people have this thought process that I want to get to the end of my life and do nothing. I just want to relax. I just want to relax. I just want to be your thought process. If you believe in becoming a high value man has to be the exact opposite that the more decades you get into your life, that the more you're cranking it up, especially with your time. So, rather than retiring and going off and playing golf for the rest of your days, that you should be spending more time with people, not just your family, but people in your sphere, speaking into them, giving wisdom, teaching, coaching, really creating the ability for your gifts, your talents, your knowledge and your wisdom to be in bed, setting up the next generation to overtake everything that you did in your life. That is a legacy worth living.
Speaker 3:So good Recap this, guys four stages of maturity, growth, the rite of passage that every man will, mostly every stage every man will walk through. First, birth this is your self-reliance season. Adulthood this is your skill set, your selfish season, where you're becoming a valuable person. Third is your marriage season this is all about service and the life you get to create together. And then the last one is your legacy and your marriage season this is all about service and the life you get to create together. And then the last one is your legacy and your death season.
Speaker 3:Question to ask yourself what season are you in? And ask yourself from a metaphorical standpoint and a physical standpoint. You probably said well, I'm an adult, so I'm an adult. No, not necessarily true. We're going to go back to the beginning, where we first quoted just because you were born a man, just because you're 30 years old, does not mean that you're a masculine, high value man. You need to take yourself through these rights of initiation, check in, become self-reliant, become a valuable person, be conscious that you're in a season of service and actually start developing a life philosophy. So ask yourself the question what season are you in?
Speaker 1:Yep, what season, what stage am I in, and what next phase, what next rite of passage do I need to begin to prepare for? Yeah Right, every man needs to have a vision for their life, and so you need to know and prepare for what's next, so you don't just walk aimlessly through your years. Get to the end of your life and experience what the most painful thing you can experience, and that's regret, so good regret so good.
Speaker 3:I love that. I hate regret, but I loved how you left that, I guess like a knife right in the gut, as always. My friends, if you enjoyed this episode, leave us a five-star review. Share with another man on his journey of becoming a high value man. Drop us a comment. Connect with us. We've got a free school community. We're walking through the virtues, the values of vision, everything you need to become a high value man. Click the link somewhere on this video and I'll see you on the other side. Much love, many blessings. Talk to you soon, boom. Thank you.