The High Value Man Conversation
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Hosted By:
Erin Alejandrino & Josh Lashua
The High Value Man Conversation
Vulnerability = Strength? The Key to Becoming a High Value Man - EP 36
Most men avoid their emotions, thinking it’s a sign of strength. But in truth, it’s the one thing keeping them from leveling up.
Why? Because real strength isn’t about what you hide. it’s about what you’re willing to face.
This episode isn’t here to hand you clichés about “being tough.”
We’re unmasking the truth about emotional courage and why it’s the edge every high-value man needs:
Authenticity: How being real with yourself transforms your life.
Emotional mastery: Why controlling your emotions is key to true leadership.
Connection: The secret to deeper relationships and lasting influence.
This isn’t about feeling “better.”
It’s about unlocking the version of you that can lead, serve, and leave a legacy.
👉 Click play to start the transformation.
👉 Join the free High-Value Man community—coaching, resources, and a brotherhood of men on the same path.
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If we were to understand that embracing our vulnerability can and will unlock the best versions of ourselves.
Speaker 2:Vulnerability is a hard word, I think, for a lot of guys just to digest as a whole because it feels like a sign of weakness.
Speaker 1:So another way of looking at this is it's emotional leadership, if you have an emotion that you've now attached to a vice drinking, drugs, porn, whatever it may be then every time you experience that emotion, you're going to turn to that and that is a deadly cycle that will lead you to solitude and death very quickly. This comes down to if you ever want to have a great attitude and be highly successful and have actions tied to that, you've got to become aware of and be coached through your own emotions. Power is in vulnerability. Emotional vulnerability is strength. I'll say it again Emotional vulnerability is strength.
Speaker 2:This is the High Value man Conversation podcast, a show dedicated to the mission of building high value men. One great man means a great family, a great neighborhood, a better city, community state and the world. The question is, if not you, then who? Welcome back to the Highlight man Conversation. This is episode 36. 36., 36., 36, man. We're approaching 40 episodes.
Speaker 1:We have something special coming for the 40th episode too, and we're talking about breaking the chains of emotional Emotional vulnerability, one of the least sexy topics that I think most men may find as an experience, but it is truly the hinges that the next part of our life, which could be the best part of our life, hinges on. Um men in general do not do vulnerability well because it's considered socially an Achilles, when in actuality it's an absolute strength and a necessary for success.
Speaker 1:So, as far as emotional vulnerability goes, you know for men, you know what, if, what if I told you it was the key to your success, it was the key to your happiness, to the deeper connections that you absolutely need in your life, that it lies in something called emotional vulnerability. And that men the reason men struggle with their own emotion of vulnerability is because society has given us expectations of and created personal fears for us and what that means. But if we were to understand that embracing our vulnerability, to embrace it, can and will unlock the best versions of ourselves, for sure.
Speaker 2:But I think the is a hard word, I think, for a lot of guys just to digest as a whole, because it feels like a sign of weakness. And so another way of looking at this is it's emotional leadership, it's your ability to actually understand, self-regulate, lead your emotions so you can lead the emotions of others.
Speaker 1:That's, if you have the desire to lead others, that's true which you've got to seed first, and if you just want to live this life make it all about you.
Speaker 1:You're going to be the most lonely person in the world the moment you realize that it's not about you. That's it. You're called to lead your family. You're called yes, you're called to lead yourself, but you're also called to lead your family and at some point you'll be stewarded with the lives of others, whether they're children, four, and then, as you get older, younger men in your draft, you realize that you're going to recreate yourself in those around you and you've just got to become aware of. The sooner you become aware of it and take ownership of it, of it, the less of a wake that you'll create with your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so true? Yeah, I think there's a revelation that got recently, recently, and it's just looking around is that just because you're born male doesn't mean you become a man. The mantle of masculinity is decision, and one of the domains of mastery is your ability to lead your emotions, and that means you're walking through an emotional process that begins first with self-awareness and eventually the point where you can lead others. Otherwise, you pass on the chains of inadequate emotional leadership, and so your kid's a reactionary, your son is violent or abusive, or he's just emotionally constipated and just passes on for generations and generations.
Speaker 1:For sure. And then we have to understand that half our brain is logic, which is the half that we like to claim. The other half, the other 50% of your brain, is emotion, and we all go through life, either in some form or fashion attempting to ignore that half of the brain or suppress it because we have no idea what to do with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's just an Achilles heel. I mean, you're living your life at best on 50% of your brain, and let's just see how that works out for you. That's good.
Speaker 2:Good, all right, we'll top in.
Speaker 1:So the first Porsche. We're going to walk through four segments in today's episode and four segments in today's episode and they're going to compound on top of each other. So, for the taking notes sake, segment one is based on the silent struggle, which you've already touched on, and the key word here being silent.
Speaker 1:We all are going to struggle through things in our life, but they don't have to remain struggles. They remain struggles when you choose to make them remain struggles, and you choose this by being silent about it, by not talking. Aaron, you can, you can riff on this for a bit, but but most men can't identify emotions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and I? It's because a we're not taught this right. So if you didn't have an emotionally aware, emotionally conscious father figure, a good model masculinity that was only angry, you may only be able to identify. Not angry and angry Like those. Oh, what emotions are you? I'm hungry, I'm horny, oh, that's an emotion, and I'm angry or not angry, and that is really, unfortunately.
Speaker 2:That is the framework that most men have for understanding their emotional state, and so the silent struggle is you know, it's a problem that affects most men, but the reason being is that they haven't been exposed that there are more emotions than just hungry, angry, not hungry or angry and horny. There's a greater expanse to it. I learned this through counseling. This was one of the first domains that I stepped into about a decade ago, where I got exposure to the idea that everything I knew at that point was already wrong. I just didn't know how to process my emotions, my feelings. I had no very little self-regulation practices. My relationships were struggling, my ability to handle my own personal stress was a mess, and so I sought counseling.
Speaker 1:So the reason, real quick, the reason why you've the reason you found that it was not working, is because you'd encountered pain. Correct. So that's the barometer. Yeah, the things in your life that hurt, that continue to hurt year after year after year. You can either continue to be silent in that struggle or to seek counsel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a hundred percent. And counseling, counsel, whatever it is a trusted friend. That might be your first start could be listening to this podcast and talking to somebody, but it's recognizing that what you're doing is not working. You know, this is the great PK-ism is like how's that working for you? Well, if it's not working and you keep stubbing your toe, keep banging your head and keep falling down and effing up, then maybe that's a good opportunity for you to seek some additional counsel. So that was really my first step Inside of counseling.
Speaker 2:I got exposed to two concepts One, that there are seven primary emotions and so this was a whole rainbow. Before I had like the color of red, and that was anger and the different variations of it, and then not like that was really only two colors I had for my rainbow, and then I never really understood that. You know, hunger or like actual craving something was, was an arousal sense. But you have sadness, you have joy, you have anger, fear, disgust, excitement and arousal. So those are your seven core emotions and each of these seven core emotions has a reactionary state. When you're pissed off, frustrated and angry, you go red and then it creates a reaction. It creates a response and that's really how most men operate. It's how I operated for a long time is when something triggered me, I would just respond. I would react. I would react with, with anger, lash out, get frustrated, pissed off, go drink go drug, go chase tail, whatever it was.
Speaker 1:That was my reaction, which, to me, aaron, is called an emotional rudder, right? So as the wind changes, as the tide changes, things that you're completely don't control whatsoever is that, as those change, they're the ones that are actually shifting the own, the rudder of your life. Men like to be in control and think well, I've got it together, I know the direction I want to go in, but every time the current shifts, that emotional rudder is going with it. So you're never going to get end up where you think you're going to end up if you have an emotional rudder. So being aware of these seven primary emotions is a great opportunity to start to take hold of those and to start to steward them. And I love that there are seven primaries because I see them as like seven trees. If you were to unearth seven trees, you're going to have thousands of roots.
Speaker 1:So the seven primaries are actually attached to many more, but to be aware of at least the seven primary gives you access to not just stewarding them but becoming a champion of the seven For sure.
Speaker 2:But just the awareness was enough. The awareness was at least recognized. There were more colors there and I was covering up everything with anger. Anger was a primary emotion that I was leaning into, and I was angry because I was afraid of feeling sad. I was angry because I didn't want to deal with the fears that I was experiencing, you know, like the fear of loss or fear of failure, whatever it was.
Speaker 2:And so what the coaching and counseling practice walked me through is that the longer that I stayed in that top level like emotion, which was anger, I was never going to process the emotions that I threw. And then what I learned this is the second framework is that all emotions have a beginning, a middle and an end. Meaning I was feeling anger, but it was covering up something. I needed to understand what the core emotion was, let it process through, and by the end of that, the feeling got to be released and there was just lightness. There was this feeling of walking through, no longer carrying the burden. There was a lot less stress, it was a lot less reactionary, and so I could create a little bit more space to respond properly, yeah.
Speaker 1:So guys, take note of that. This is a mature way to understand your emotions, that they can and are designed to have a beginning, a middle and and for most all of you and for most all of us. We've lived through life having our emotions have a beginning have a beginning.
Speaker 2:Have a beginning.
Speaker 1:And all we do is we react to them out of a self-preservatory response, essentially to protect who we are, how we feel, and because we're so fearful of being vulnerable, we think, oh, if I take the time to actually feel that I'm vulnerable and I'm weak, which is a lie, it's a lie from the devil. So that's a very mature understanding. Is they have a beginning, a middle and an end, if you choose for them to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then you guys teach on this framework and I love it so much. Is that. Your how on this is you acknowledge the feeling that's coming up, you turn towards the feeling and you work on integrating the feeling.
Speaker 1:Yes, so acknowledging is the biggest part I have. Half my brain is emotion. Here's some insight, men. Every decision you make, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, you're wrong, but every decision you make is attached to an emotion. So the way to to have a successful life is to first acknowledge that emotion. Secondly, is a turn towards it right, which means I'm going to not just acknowledge it, but I'm going to give it. I'm going to give it my eyes for a moment so that I have the opportunity to integrate it and move past it. If all we do is have the emotion, then all we do is have the emotion and the same emotion will crash on our beach Like, like the like the waves on the sand, and we go nowhere.
Speaker 2:Or and we don't need to go deep on this, but or if the emotion comes up and you do something to distract yourself drinking drugs, social media, porn, whatever it is to shift away from that feeling, you're going to stay stuck in that same cycle, repeating the same lap over and over again.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and neurons that fire together wire together. So if you have an emotion that you've now attached to a vice drinking, drugs, porn, whatever it may be then every time you experience that emotion you're going to turn to that action and that is a deadly cycle that will lead you to solitude and death very quickly. Yep.
Speaker 2:Moving on beyond the silent struggle. You've identified seven core motions You're going to turn towards and acknowledge and integrate them. This is your recognition. There's a beginning, middle and end. The second kind of segment of this is counsel. You know that is such a key part because you're, if you're thinking, got you into this emotional state where you feel isolated, alone on an Island. The only way that you're thinking got you into this emotional state where you feel isolated, alone on an island, the only way that you're going to bridge past that is to start thinking differently and that is through the process of counsel.
Speaker 1:We first have to realize that this is a myth of masculinity. Vulnerability is a myth of masculinity, and so what we've got to do is understand that stoicism or being emotionless can be helpful in moments, although it's not a lifestyle that you want to adapt. It's not a lifestyle you want to adapt. If you do, all of your relationships will pay a heavy price, all of them. We also need to be aware that, if this is a fallacy of masculinity, that we're going to have to develop an EQ, an emotional intelligence. It's required for any level of success. Yeah Right, and so what that means is to understand empathy, empathy and vulnerability as a sign of strength, not weakness.
Speaker 1:That's good, and what I love about this is there's lots of sports out there that men like to watch, and I'm one of the ones that doesn't watch many of them. The only one I happen to follow is Formula One. But to kick off this portion of what I want to share is every successful think Forbes 150. Every successful Forbes 150 CEO has a cabinet, a council. The president of the United States has a cabinet, a council. The president of the United States has a cabinet, a council. Every leader on the planet that's at the top of their game has a cabinet or a council, someone that they lean on for decisions and helping them be correct in what they do.
Speaker 1:And what I love about EQ specifically is my favorite. The only sport I follow is Formula One, and my favorite driver for years has been Lewis Hamilton, not because of his winning streak, but because of how he is socially. He's, uh, he's very grounded, who he is. His emotions don't really peak, they also don't really divot. He's not a very negative person at all. Um, and his, his, his overall presence is very founded and, um, I really correlate that to for the, his entire career, and he said one of the longest careers in formula one history is that he's always had an emotional, an EQ coach an emotion coach, an EQ coach, someone, a woman that travels with him everywhere.
Speaker 1:He goes, literally everywhere he goes to help him be stable in his emotions. So, moment to moment he's showing up in front of the camera to millions and millions of people. But he's got his coach in his corner. It's helping him show up that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's just an incredible thing, those cars go they well over 200.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So this is this is somebody that is professionally paid to drive a multi million dollar, about a $14 million car, $14 million piece of equipment, at 200 miles per hour. They're the fastest cars on the planet and he has, as a primary for his entire career, an EQ or emotional intelligence coach. Doesn't make sense, does it? It makes a lot of sense, powerful sense, because how you do anything is how you do everything. And there's we'll expose you guys just briefly this, but there's four domains to emotional intelligence. One is self-awareness Can you recognize your emotions as they come up, identify them clearly?
Speaker 2:There's self-management when the emotions come up, how do you respond versus react to those triggers? There is your social awareness. Is your ability to perceive the emotions of others. And perception is such a powerful thing. If I can pick up how my other players are doing, or competitors, or you know my relationship with my wife, you can perceive those emotions. Then you can do the part which is so powerful, which is the relationship management, and that is your ability to lead and influence others. So those four aspects of emotional intelligence, they lead in everything. But especially think about him. His ability to drive that machine at such fast pace and make split second decisions means he really knows himself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure it also helps him, helps him project, because I think he very much is borderline unshakable. So we all know that if we compete in the midst of competition, our emotions can take a left or take a right at any point in time. And the fact that he's a seven time world champion, which means he's, he's if he wins one more, he'll be, he'll have, more world championships than anyone in Formula One history. So he's up there, he's forever going to be in the history books um a hall of famer for sure. But the key to his success has not just been his talent, it's his ability to manage his emotions in the fire.
Speaker 1:But he's had a coach in his corner for well over a decade. That's helped him to learn how to steward those emotions, to be aware of them, to turn towards them, to integrate them in split second time scenarios so that he can be a world champion the way that he is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that so good.
Speaker 1:Top tier. So that comes down to you know, lewis Hamilton has this woman who's been in this corner for over a decade. The question is who do you have? Who do you have? If you ever want to be successful in any area, you've got to be able to master these multiple, these multiple segments that that Aaron's talking about. But who do you have in your corner? Or, what may be a better question for you, if this is feels like it's new to you is who could you have, right?
Speaker 1:Who could you have in your corner as a mentor, as a leader, as someone who's helping you, not just with your thought processes and philosophies, but how you're stewarding those? And that means through your emotions, which is really tied to your attitude, right? The two things in life that we teach on very often that we can control is our attitude and our effort. Your attitude, men, is what you do with what you think and how you feel. You cannot control your thinking. You also cannot control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them, right? And you tether that to effort, which is action. So this comes down to if you ever want to have a great attitude and be highly successful and have actions tied to that. You've got to become aware of and be coached through your own emotions, because half of what's going on in your brain, who do you have?
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:Segment three is the power of vulnerability. I want to completely flip the script. Yeah Right, vulnerability in and of itself is just defined as through a man of man. I'm standing here naked and anyone can kill me. If I talk about that, if I expose that, if you really knew this about me, you wouldn't love me, I wouldn't be, I'd be unworthy, I'm not good enough. Those are lies. Right, power is in vulnerability.
Speaker 1:Emotional vulnerability is strength. I'll say it again Emotional vulnerability is strength by expressing our emotions. This leads us to deeper connections, better communication and more authentic personal leadership. That's good. Right, you can lie to everyone else, but you can't lie to yourself. You can lie to everyone else, but you cannot lie to yourself. So we've got to become more aware and have the ability to turn towards, face the man in the mirror with our emotions, for the deeper connections, the better communication to which, by the way, everybody in your sphere wants from you. I'll say it this way by the way, everybody in your sphere needs from you in your marketplace, in your marriage and especially with your children. They need that from you. You've got to be the one to pave the way.
Speaker 1:So, personally, I was not born the way that I am. God gave me some abilities, but I came really rough. If you want to call me a diamond, I'll see myself as a diamond, but I came very rough out of the ground and in order for me to have the things that weren't helping me chiseled off, for me to be polished, I've had to have men in my life, not just in my sphere, but I've had to invite them in and give them authority to lead me, love me, guide me, hold me accountable. So I've had six men in my life now for a number of years. That I would consider part of my success story and what I've done as far as the invitation in is in my inner sphere.
Speaker 1:We practice transparency frequently. We practice authenticity and accountability frequently. So it's not just hey, man, I'm winning this life. Yo, I got a new PR. I'm a bench press. It's man.
Speaker 1:I caught on Insta the other day and I started clicking the button. Bro, I just wanted, I want to, I want to share that with you and having guys go listen, go back to your core values. Who is it that you say that you are? We've got accountability in place. Delete the app, whatever it may be, give me access to it. I have men in my life that not just have my phone number but I also have got about 18 guys I share my GPS with. The closest guys in my sphere have my wife's number. If any moment in time I'm acting like a knucklehead, that she can call them, and I'll have guys show up in my house and help me be better. That's not a brute type. Come whoop me. We're doing enough life together and I've given you enough rope in my life to come be a part of me and know me on a deeper level, because I'm not going to be perfect the rest of my life by any means.
Speaker 2:It's good power, powerful. It is absolutely strength you think about. You know, what makes a military team so successful is there is trust that is built because of the transparency the transparency of knowing that a person is going to operate a certain way, because you have seen them, you've seen the struggle with them, you've built a bond with them. Like that's what the power that Josh is talking about is that the vulnerability and being able to be open, honest, transparent builds trust, and that trust is a massive lever for your personal success.
Speaker 1:They are. They absolutely are. So some of the ways that we can step into our own vulnerability, first of all, is by journaling. This is something that, aaron, you've done for a long time and you've challenged me with, and I've started journaling on a daily basis just to get out what's going on inside of me. So journaling, coaching which we, we both are being coached at the same time, we both coach, and so it's a great deal that we get to be a part of. But journaling, coaching, coach, and so it's a great deal that we get to be a part of. But journaling, coaching, counseling anyone in the high value man sphere is getting getting led in the direction that they want to go in, and we operate as bumpers per se as they're throwing their life ball. We want to, we want to see them win and help them hit pins, and they do so. Journaling, coaching, counseling, mentorship, and then inner men circle powerful guys.
Speaker 2:We're throwing a lot at you, but don't worry, we're going to break it down for you at the end of the episode. But take note of this. Anything that is like causing an internal conviction like, ah, I need to work on that, take action on it. Take action on it.
Speaker 1:And then, just, this is just a vocabulary shift For any man that says I want to work on that or I need or want, with the word must, I must. If you start to say to yourself I must do that, I must get with HVM, I must get a coach, I must learn to be aware of and turn towards and integrate my emotions, because life has been painful and I do not want to take another circle in 2025 for another round of pain. I must, we will help you prioritize what you know you need to do. It's good, aaron, you were, we were in a group recently you had a guy share, uh, and in pretty, pretty extreme vulnerability you know, and it's just, it was um.
Speaker 2:I think the the issue with um, with men so much is they don't recognize what real transparency and vulnerability looks like and when. But when you see it, this truce will stop you in your tracks. It really will. And there was a guy in our, in our group, and this is just the power of you know, we we meeting on a weekly basis with a group of men to share openly. But he shared just where he was at and he was um, absolutely unashamed and almost bold, was where he was at in this season of life and it was not in a good spot, but he would just open it on us. He said this is what I'm walking through, this is what I'm struggling with, these are the vices that I'm working through right now, and this is the trials, the tribulation, the test. And he was just open on it. He shared in such a way that it stopped the entire conversation and it brought a sense of presence, like, like, like it just wasn't exist, because guys can, will stay on the surface how you doing, Checking in, they might answer the questions, not really go deep. And then he took it to a completely new level which we all get to go to at some point if we really want to become free.
Speaker 2:And one of the other gentlemen you know shared a um, uh, a anchored. It says 10 minutes of humility is worth 10 years of therapy. And so this gentleman shared from a very humble place and from that place of humility it lifted up the entire conversation. And there's biblical truth in that, just recognizing that the proud will be humbled and the humble will be lifted. And so he shared where he was at, from a very humble place, and it was a beautiful moment. But it was also such a good reminder that, if we can get to that point that the pain that we're avoiding really has no power over us.
Speaker 1:You know it just doesn't, which is a decision you make.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a decision you make. People change for two reasons One because they want to, or two because they want to, or two because they hurt so bad they have to.
Speaker 2:You change because you want to or you hurt so bad you have to.
Speaker 1:That is a picture of a man who wants change, and he had to change. Well, again, that's also a point. He's been taking laps and he's in the midst of his own brutal beating and it hurts so bad that he's willing to do anything at this point. So, so you can, you can allow life to continue to happen the way that it is and you're reacting to life, and you'll get so far down. You'll be alone, you'll be fearful, you'll be sad and you'll be beat to snot before you decide to take a change for it.
Speaker 1:So, if you're, if you're a young cat, you can decide to work out now for the sake of I want to be in shape and not be in a wheelchair in my 50s, and that's the changing, because you want to. Or you can continue to stuff your mouth with ho-hos, be a lazy bum, be Jabba the Hutt, and you're going to get to 40, 50, if you're lucky, 60 years old, before your doctor says yo, man, if you don't change these things, you're going to die in about six months, and so that's changing because you have to. So if, if any place that you're in decide to change because you want it, if you wait long enough, you're going to have to or die, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's good. It's good, and the purpose of this again is is so you can let go, so you can pick up what's necessary. If you're carrying the burden of this suffering and silence your immature feelings, your lack of emotional maturity and you're not truly coming from a place of like, wanting to change, you're carrying a weight that is unnecessary, which means you can't carry the weight that is required, and as a man, you are required to carry and steward certain weight to be a responsible leader for those around you. And if you're carrying the burden of this emotional, just inadequacy, you know, really, for lack of a better word you're not able to properly lead those that you need to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you'll grow up to be a 40 year old. 40 year old, eight year old. You'll have a wife that feels like she has to manage you, is always begging for you to be more communicative. How do you feel? Tell me, share things with me, and you just go, I'm good, I'm fine. First of all, good and fine are not feelings, so scrap them from your vocabulary. You're lying to everyone and yourself, right? So if you don't want to be an eight-year-old the rest of your life and feel like you know everyone's just trying to manage me, well, you got to look inside, turn towards, turn towards yourself. Well, you got to look inside, turn towards, turn towards yourself. And so we want to hover on how. How do we cultivate emotional vulnerability? How do I do this as a man and still remain feeling like a man, right? So one, seek a new circle. Right, you are the sum of the people you run with, so seek a new circle. Get in proximity of other men where what you want is modeled. Yeah, it's good, that's number one.
Speaker 1:Secondly, start small. Start small. You have to start stacking wins. You're an HVM long enough. You know that this is one of our cores. You have to start stacking wins. You're not going to turn your Titanic on a dime. You have to start making decisions, and with positive attitude, and seeing those through with action. And so, by stacking wins, do 40 pushups in the morning, get up in the morning, read your Bible, do something hard. One thing hard every day. Journal, whatever it may be. That'll help you get momentum to choose harder things that you've been avoiding for decades. But start small, um, and you can start by sharing with a close friend or a partner that is a man, yeah that's a key thing to pay attention to.
Speaker 2:Once you recognize okay, I've got these new feelings I need to work through and process. Do not I warn you do not go emotionally dump all of this on your wife, don't. She's not prepared for it, she's not built for it. That is a greatest way for you to break any remaining trust that you have. Go find a dude. The dude can hold space for it. He can give you proper modeling of masculinity. Have a good combat conversation with you. But your wife is not your only relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's not your mother, yeah, so step away from that. Start small. The next step, step three, is to develop self-awareness. You've got to do it. You've got to read a book on EQ. Aaron and I were talking offline about Emotional Intelligence 2.0 right before this episode Travis Bradbury A great, great tool and asset for you to purchase and to walk through and then journal and reflect on what you're feeling. You've got to start putting it to paper through and then journal and reflect on what you're feeling. Yeah, you've got to start putting it to paper. You've got to get, got to get it out of your mind in into writing so you can actually see how you're feeling and so reflect those things through self-awareness. And step three sorry. Step four, the final step, is to practice self-management. Practice much like a doctor. You're gonna practice these things the rest of your life through utilizing tools. Aaron and I do ice baths daily. That's a way for us to seek our heart and choose our purpose over the momentary pain.
Speaker 1:Seek counseling. Counsel is another man, a man. You do life with a man that has already what you want, but by seeking counseling whether that's coaching or any other platform you've also got to be able to pause. Men like to men are doers, and the more that we feel like we can do, then we actually feel like we're producing, when in actuality you're just running in mud, you're not going anywhere, but be able to pause and be with your thoughts, your philosophies, your emotions, and then fellowship, fellowship, fellowship, fellowship is not. What do you call the barstool buddy? Barstool buddy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, drinking buddy, that's not fellowship. That surface level probably circled around work or sports and you're not going to ever get to know somebody that way. But fellowship is to learn how to effectively navigate your emotions. You've got to have relationship with men. It's got to be seeking each other. We're going to start calling each other every day. We committed to that. So this is an awesome way for us to to to create that type of intimate relationship through practice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's good, powerful, it's so good.
Speaker 2:Josh, thank you for giving us that recap on this, but I want to give you guys a very, very simple place to start.
Speaker 2:One is step one that we talked about is a silent struggle. If you recognize anything that we just walked through and talked through in this, don't let this be another year where you suffer in silence and you drown those around you Like reach out, ask for help, get inside the tribe, send us a DM, connect with us offline or join us on a journey that we're going to take you on. We're going to be kicking off a 40-day morning mastery challenge. We're going to walk you through all of this templates and teaching, from emotional intelligence to family leadership, to mastering your physical domain and start building a practice of faith and do it first thing in the morning. It's going to be a great overall opportunity for you to dive deep into the content that we're talking about with HVM and then do it alongside us over a 40 day commitment. Small morning practice builds the big disciplines that will help you climb the mountains of life, and if you want to learn more about that, just click the link somewhere around this video and we'll send you the info.
Speaker 1:Indeed, indeed. So then we've, we have learned. We have learned what it takes to go from where you are to where you say you want to be one. That's not to not to struggle in silence too. That's to understand that vulnerability is a myth of masculinity is a myth, and it's a lie. You need to be asking yourself who could I have in my corner, who could I have in my corner, understanding that vulnerability is a power, it's a strength, right? So, even though the warrior always has someone on his six, so who's on your six? You're not going to do it alone. If you think you are. Well, life will be short and painful, and then how to cultivate your emotional vulnerability is through through doing life with others that have what you have or have what you want already, through counseling, through coaching, through mentorship, through brotherhood and choosing something hard every day, like the 40 day commit we have coming up.
Speaker 2:And, as always, if this episode served you along your journey of becoming a high value man, leave us a five-star review, share it with another friend, get something to join you on this 40 day micro commitment. Every single morning, this 40 day morning. Mastery challenge reach out. Send us a comment. Join our free school community. Mastery challenge reach out. Send us a comment. Join our free school community. But, more so than anything, don't let this be a another information download. Go implement, go be the leader, go be the lighthouse, be the high value man inside of your domains and show the world what you're really meant to do Much love, many blessings.
Speaker 1:Talk to you soon. Boom, get off the podcast, get back to the fucking mental lab.